My neighbor is a cop, and before I step on my d*ck talking smack about cops, he’s not the front lines, chasing down scum, dodging bullets, getting attacked by meth’d up tweakers cop.

He’s the back office, light duty, hey is it possible to get the hazelnut flavor coffee mate creamer cop. He’s the rack up the overtime working the county fair, Boy Scout parade, and weekend outlet mall parking lot cop. He’s the almost got us kicked out of the shooting range for flashing innocent civilians, and me, one too many times. I bought him a rape whistle for Xmas, for those who get the reference.

With overtime and benefits, he pulled down over 230k last year. It’s all available online.

Either we get paid this contract or I’m quitting and joining the sheriffs office.