Senior CA:

Bowel movement occurs before report, just can't fit in these newer lavs and, no bidet. Covid has changed the minimum standard.

Junior CA:

No ASAP from BS'ing the entire flight about how great it is at DL compared to SWA, flying a 737.

Senior FO:

Long layover to manage side business during the week. Layover is long enough to actually set up a family photo atop the dresser.

Junior FO:

An anomaly in the space time continuum. You are going downtown with the FAs. One isn't married, very cute, interested and you finish the trip without friending her on social media or giving out your phone number.