I'm a UPS pilot, LEX native, and in my regional days lived in Frederick MD and was based at DCA.

Your money is gonna go a LOT further in Kentucky than NoVA. Frankfort or Shelbyville is within the 90min RSV min callout for UPS and really, not all that far from LEX...especially when compared to commuting around DC Metro.

If your wife wants to move to DC Metro to be near her family, and you've got an offer from United, I think that'd probably be the safest bet for martial harmony. There's value in a happy family and value in driving to work.

Good luck with your decision...