From a UAL guy:
1) Get some type of reserve gig to A) Get a retirement and B) Have a landing spot in the event of a furlough… especially if you decide on UAL.
2) All else being equal (it never is) UPS is the choice based on two factors… retirement and probably of furlough. Flying with pax and FAs rarely is a problem, the “culture” is probably better at UAL (I’m told), and there’s more flying during “normal” hours, but that doesn’t come close to overcoming the UPS advantage in the other areas.
3) I’ve never commuted to my airline gig and only briefly commuted to the reserves, but I’m told driving to work makes the job waaaaay better. The only reason I’d think about UAL is if you can’t talk your wife into staying in the SDF area. If you do move to DC and go to UAL, you can try to make up some of the retirement difference by picking up “premium pay” trips and banking the money in a retirement account, but that’s hit and miss.