Originally Posted by Bluedriver

Yep, completely out of touch, tone deaf.

From the executives of the U.S.S. BJ "We have identified a massive hole in the hull of our great ship. Very large quantities of water are as we speak gushing into the hull. We have all the knowledge and tools to make a proper repair of the hull and stop the water from coming in. However, upon high level discussions with your "leadership" team, we have decided on a better course of action. We are moving the ship to shallow waters, so should too much water enter the hull, the ship will safely rest on the bottom of the ocean while keeping the officers quarters safely above the water line. We have also placed a large order with our business partners to acquire paper towels, to allow our incredible crew members the opportunity to try and soak up the water breaching the steerage levels of the ship. We are in talks with our preferred board-owned business-partners about the feasibility of pumping air into the hull of the ship to help buoyancy, and if ineffective, may allow some crew members access to limited amounts of breathable air. Some may ask, why not just fix the hole in the ship? Well that's what our legacy competitors would do, and we like to think we are different, better, more nimble, more innovative. While fixing the hole would certainly solve the problem, we believe this alternative solution designed by Wet-Ventures could lead to better long term stakeholder value. In the mean time, and while we take the time needed to study the final implementation of these interventions, which are tentatively scheduled to begin late next year, please remember to blow forcefully into the tube at the top of your life vest labeled "manual inflation". Please join other leaders in the officers quarters above the water line for cheese it's and pepsi products, but we ask you towel dry and wipe your feet dry."