Originally Posted by
at6d
Sometimes the divorce is just a necessary thing…but if you do, for gods sake try not to get lawyers involved and do it before you upgrade!
Try not to get married in the first place if divorce will be necessary. Before you take the plunge...
Understand where she's coming from: family, parents, upbringing, friends. If it's different than yours, could be a problem.
Mutual commitment to fitness and healthy lifestyle is good... after age 40 the grass on the other side won't look so good as everybody else lets themselves go.
If her family is a hot mess, that might be OK if she's committed to not living her life that way. If her friends are a hot mess, big red flag right there.
Have in-depth discussions over a lengthy period about lifestyle, kids, money, geography, and airline life and hardships.
Make sure she's grown-up enough to actually know what she wants.
Don't marry a divorcee (this is for the younger guys, if you're both older, post-kids with a notch on the belt you know the drill). Single mom might be OK if she had the sense to not marry the loser father in the first place.
I know this from 1) getting lucky myself and 2) observing friends and family not get so lucky.