Honest question. Why would you come to Spirit?

Is that the base instability?
Is it the 'who knows who we're merging with'?
Is that the 'only F9 pay is worse that ours'?
Is it the less than McD's training pay?
Is it the no medical insurance for 90 days?
Is it the longest upgrades of any major?
Is it the annual epic meltdowns?
is it the 3 hour hold times for crew scheduling?
Is it the 2 day wait for hotel connections to get you a room?

I've heard the Hooked On Phonics 'thanks for calling Hewlett-Packard' radio calls for AA. WTF are you not there?