No matter your geographic location in Utah, Mormons will affect your everyday life. They make the rules! Want a beer at a restaurant? You better also want an appetizer. Want a second beer between the appetizer and entree? Be prepared to order another appetizer. That’s after the sigh and judgy eyes for ordering two beers. Oh and don’t even bother ordering a cocktail, Joseph Smith says go easy on the booze…but go ahead and charge full price for the drink.

Like James Bond said, Boy Scouts? You’re going to be meeting at Mormon church. Kids sports? If you’re not Mormon, you better have hands of gold or else you ain’t playing.

Does your teen want a job at a local business? Better be prepared to explain your religious views in the interview…yes, had this happen to me when I was about 20.

IT IS EVERYWHERE. Yes, even Sugarhouse. Oh and if you want to live in Sugarhouse, you better check out East High and Highland High. Bet not too many airline pilot’s kids going to those schools.

I’ve had a handful of Mormon friends living outside of Utah. They’re great, normal people. But once you step foot in the holy land, it’s a different story.