"Oh crap we're on fire and gonna die everyone panic together now!!!!"

or

"Ladies and gentlemen, ahhhh.... you may have ahhhh noticed... ahhh... we have a bit of a barbeque going out on the left wing ahhh.... We're just gonna head over to ahhhh Albuquerque for a little stop and ahhh... we'll be on the ground real quick so uhhhhhh just buckle up and thanks for flying skrywest..."

"ABQ center ahhh.... we got a little bit of a, er, malfunction going on, we're gonna need to uhhhh... divert to Phoenix. We're direct Phoenix for 26 and we'll be there in uhhh 12 minutes. 2 hrs of fuel 143 souls on board roll the trucks uhhhh we'll stop on the runway that'll work thanks skrywest 123"

"OMG we're on fire tell my wife I love her oh we're gonna diiiiieeeeeeee"

It's an art form, takes years of experience and practice to master. Flying an airframe older than 40 yrs helps for no reason other than multiple opportunities to practice... ask any tweet IP.