JohnBurke

First, they'll look at your handwriting. You'll be asked to write the Gettysberg Address from memory, and then a second time, backward. The two will be compared, and you'll have to give a sample with your weak hand, too. They're looking for latent apathy, intrinsic malingering, introverted antisociopathy, and ringworm. They will be able to determine both your sexual orientation, and your orientation to true north: the difference between the two, relative sexuality, will be marked on a scale of one to ten, which you will not be allowed to see until two weeks after the test is complete. This is by design.

There will be a series of words which you will hear, and must say the first thing that comes to mind, followed by your favorite letter of the alphabet. This is timed. For example, if the interviewer says "sheep," you should say "fence." If the interviewer says "puppy," you should say "scalding coffee," and so on. You'll then be asked to identify your best three childhood experiences, followed by the worst. Fire should be one of them. Don't mention ice cubes. Leave out any reference to sheep.

You will be blindfolded and asked to taste three colas. Your job is to identify the one with trace arsenic. Memory aid: it's no the one that tastes like cherries. While blindfolded, you'll be placed inside a pressure chamber, and you'll be asked to put on women's makeup as the oxygen level is gradually depleted. At 18,000 chamber altitude, you'll be asked all the memory procedures (all of them) for your last three aircraft, and you will be asked to recite at least one Dr. Seuss book in its entirety. You aren't expected to complete it, but you should try to get through as much as you can. Industry experts recommend that you use Green Eggs and Ham, and don't try to show off by doing it in Latin.

Not necessarily in order, but you will be subjected to a judgement test commonly known in the industry as the "goldilocks quotient," in which you will be presented with three chairs in a dark room. You will be required to stipulate which is too hard, which is too soft, and which is just right. This is not timed, but should be performed as accurately as possible.

In the Ripplestone Drosophila Melanogaster review, not always given in entirety, but always given, you'll see a series of images, four at a time, one hundred times, and you'll identify a specific object. For example, item one may be an airplane, a boat, a car, and a duck. You will be asked to identify the one that is not a centipede. These are trick questions; be sure to count the legs to verify that you're not looking at a nonapede. Serial killers always pick the boat, rapists pick the car and so on. You may be asked questions such as, "if you are forced to kill either your mother or your brother, which one do you kill?" There is no option to choose neither, so the only correct answer is both. You don't have to explain why. Just emphasize a latent, detached willingness with no semblance of emotion. They really like that.

You'll be given a drug screening, in which you're provided six unidentified pills and must pick three. This tests your endurance, your ability to handle adversity, and your sense of imagination coupled with the limits of your flexibility. As a general guideline, do not pick anything that's green. Following the drug screen, there is a mandatory urinalisis, wherein you will be required to write your name in snow. Penmanship counts.

After this series of warmup exercises, the actual psychological tests begin.