I only wore this nose ring so my current employer wouldn't know I'm looking for work behind his back. I'll take it out if you hire me, and I won't go behind your back.

My hair is long to fool my current employer. I'm not the kind of employee who would fool you. Plus, I'll cut my hair, so I don't look like Keanu Reeves at the end of Point Break.

This isn't the real me. You have to hire me to see the real me.

I didn't consider your invitation to interview to be important enough to shave, but if you hire me, then you'll be important enough.

I don't' respect you. now, but if you pay me, I'll respect you.

The person you see before you now is not the person you'll be hiring. That's a different person. You'll see.

I may be picking my nose now, in front of you, but that's not something I'll do in front of our clients. Try me out. You'll be pleasantly surprised.

I get better with time. Take a gamble. I would.

You understand the point?