Lois Griffin: Peter! You're bribing your daughter with a car?
Peter Griffin: Ah, c'mon, Lois, isn't 'bribe' just another word for 'love'?

Peter Griffin: Brian, there's a message in my Alpha Bits. It says 'OOO'!
Brian Griffin: Peter, those are Cheerios.

Peter Griffin: Joe, I've had new neighbors before but none of them were half the man you are. And since you're half a man already, that splits them into some kind of fraction I can't even measure.

There's no chance you didn't laugh at that last one!
Why can't we just agree FOX Sunday nights and NBC Thursday nights are Gods gift to TV?