one more thing...
I still want to fly for a living...I can't explain the urge. I sometimes think I'm trying to please him...I miss him everyday - it was cool to say my father is a pilot but you could never introduce him to your friends - he was never around.
Many of our neighbors saw him for the first time at his funeral - they just knew he left early in the morning and got home late and was gone for days at a time...
I can count the number of conversations we had about important things in person on one hand.
-LAFF