If life sucks that much as a United Captain, and judging from your stream of other posts, perhaps its some to get some help? Have you considered calling ALPA pilot peer support? You have wonderful benefits available to you. Have you heard the FAA is now allowing certain anti-depressants? I hope you get some help and have a better day. Talk to people. Take some time off if you need to. Go for a long hike, take a class, talk to peers who can help you, or professionals if needed.

If we were living in Sudan, Ukraine, Gaza.... I think I'd join you in agreeing that life might suck.