My first session with a VR&E counselor was successful, and it doesn't look completely hopeless to get it approved for a CFI. That said, I'm realizing that this is going to be a lengthy process with a lot of learning on the fly (pardon the pun). If anyone out there is attempting to do something similar, feel free to DM me. Maybe with our powers combined, we can figure this out and be able to help the next group of people trying to do the same thing.