Corporate meeting of VP's and select departmental Directors:
Leader 1)
"Now that the COVID Mask Mandate fist fights are over, and the MAGA Hat consternation is dwindling, the Middle East buttons and support bling is simmering down, what can we possibly do to cause further delays, consternation, and disruptive behavior that earmarks us as the go to late night joke bumbling fools that we're known for?

Leader 2)
"I know, how about a new completely subjective policy that alienates and embarrasses our customers publicly on Social Media? Let's mandate the way people dress based on a single employee's feelings, mood, religious beliefs, and personal political affiliation? Heck, half our staff can barely read, instantly judge people based on attire, since we don't pay them enough to own homes, and they certainly don't understand irony or complex ideas that may mean the idea expressed on the front of a T-shirt may actually not be offensive since we hire based on needs of the moment and the whims of the team leader interviewing."

Leader3)
"But won't this cause operational problems that affect our A14, you know a percentage of Ted's bonus depends on that right?, It's the whole purpose of the "Feel Good Friday" newsletter isn't it? You know, more delays and irate passengers causing scenes and filling less seats?"

Leader 4)
"Are you crazy? We already billed their credit card"

Leader 1)
"Leader 3, we haven't had a single Passenger since 2005 when that smart guy we hired in Marketing proclaimed them as Customers, are you daft? Please see me after the meeting, have you even done the Empowerment PowerPoint?"
Leader 1)
So it is written, so shall it be done. Unless that phrase offends anyone. The point is to empower those Spirit Family Members that feel disenfranchised or morally obligated to judge something completely unrelated to their job at any company!


Leader 3)
"I'm sorry Leader 1 Sir/Madam/Them/They/It/Was , sounds good, we're the improved classier Spirit, Plan B or something, we'll show those scumbags that buy our tickets we ain't playin, I'll report for PowerPoint re-education immediately"