Here's a sample briefing. You may adjust as necessary to fit your flight's specifics:
"Ladies and gentlemen, mesdames et messieurs, damen und herren, welcome aboard Discount Airlines flight 1, with same-day service to Anchorage. I'm your captain, Butch Cassidy, and I'm joined up front by the Sundance Kid. In the back with you are Hansel and Gretel. They're not the best we have, but they're all we could find on such short notice. They're here partly for your safety, but mostly for your entertainment. Gretel in particular does a wonderful Cagney impression. Scheduled flight time to Anchorage today is four hours and sixty-three minutes. However, the Kid and I are pretty sure we've got enough gas to make it to Las Vegas. We could get around $20 million for the airplane, and we'd be more than happy to split it with everybody in the back. If you'd like us to head that way, please let us know. Otherwise, sit back, relax, and try not to think about the fact that you're being flown around by a pair of disgruntled guys with a book of Sudoku puzzles."