WHOA WHOA WHOOAAAAAAA!!!!! Hold up a minute here kids...I intended this thread to be a funny one and lighten up our situation as pilots in this crazy industry. Let the kid drink his kool aid...eventually he will drink sooooo much of it hes bound to throw it all back up...especially if its the poison kind that management likes to serve....so let the poop discussion continue...here I have another one might not be as funny as the one I posted but hopefully it will change the subject...

OK....(clears throat)...I know ever one here has had the passenger that just will not shut up for the love of God...well I happened to have the MOST annoying passenger ever!!! So of course...its an end of 4 day trip and my last leg home is a.....DEADHEAD....(Horror music in the background...to add affect...LOL) I'm tired...I just want to go home right...so Im in the window seat and the passenger sits next to me. They look over at me and I can see them from the corner of my eye and Im thinking to myself like "crap here we go" So I guess the most intelligent question this moron could ask me is "So...are you a pilot?" I wanted to say..."No I just wear this outfit because I'm trying to start a fashion tread...you like?!?!" But I stay cool and nicely say "Yes...I am a pilot and I fly for (XYZ) Airlines" you feel in the blank....LOL...Well I tried to turn my head to the window before anything more drops out of his mouth...but I was tooooo late....ERRRRRR....THIS DUDE WANTED ME TO GIVE HIM A FULL GROUND LESSON ON THE AIRCRAFT I FLY!!!! "How does the flaps work...How do you start the engines...If the engines fail do you drop out of the sky...Is there an ejection seat in the cockpit....***!?!?!" I about fell out of my seat I was sooooo tired....I felt like I was on a checkride....by the way the ejection seat question was a REAL question...So after an hour and half of this mess...I figured I would even with this guy that disrupted my sleep....MUAAHAHAHAHA...the plot thickens...(horror music again...lol) So I could tell we were turn base to final and the pilots are configuring the aircraft for landing....lots of noise right?...So...I look out the window while all this is going on and I could tell this guy was right over my shoulder doing the same thing...So...as soon as the flaps start to come in I look over at the guy and said "Did you hear that?" in a kind of scared voice...He was like "What What What did you hear?"...I said "I don't know but I have never heard that before"...He looked like he saw God himself...LOL...I know it was mean...but it gets better...LOL....So as soon as the gear drops....I was like I looked over at him with the look of confusion and started tighting up my seat belt...LOL...He look at me and start doing the SAME THING!!!...The whole time my Captain is across the aisle looking at me just trying not to laugh because he could tell I was ****ed through the whole flight and was getting back at this guy....So hes tighting up his seat belt looking at me like "Now what do I do?" Well we start to get into the flare and I cringe up and close my eyes tight like I am about to get hit with something....And it was perfect because the pilot CRUSHED the landing and I said "Whoa!!!....whew that was close" and the guy was like is everything ok...I was like yeah we made it...whew...My Captain could not control himself...he thought I was mean...so did my wife...I DONT CARE THOUGH...I WAS TIRED!!! I Just wanted to get some rest and he didn't let me....SO THERE...NENER NENER NEEEEENNNEERRR!!!!! I AM A MEAN BASTARD!!!! There I said it for you!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!