Keep a notebook with all dates and who you talked to. My wife has that policy for my stepkids and I also have BCBS. If you did have two policies, you do not get to pick which one is first. It is based on date of birth of the policy holder. But, that does not mean that there cannot be a primary and secondary insurance.
They should be paying in network since there is no one close by. BCBS is just trying to hang onto their money. Check out www.theinsurancewarrior.com and talk to the HR person. They should have a BCBS rep assigned to the corporate account. Good luck.