Originally Posted by Low & Slow
So "there I was" on a layover in a tropical (tourist over-run) destination. As I'm leaving the hotel for dinner, one of our 12 FA's is in the lobby and asks where I'm going and mentioned that it was her first time here.
I stated that I was going to dinner, and she asked to tag along. OK, no problem there. I did mention that the entrees at the place I was going to eat were about $30.
OK fast forward to a fine meal, marginal conversation, and a phenomenal view. The bill comes along with the minor detail that she didn't bring any money. OK, this is irritating, but I'm not going to make a scene. I apologized if she thought I was "taking her out to dinner" and that my idea was to go dutch. Blank stare from her, ....geez.
While it really wasn't that big of a deal, it would be nice not to have to announce that "I expect you to pay for what you order".
Anyway, there is lesson here for all of us. When your going out with a crew on a layover, I guess you have to spell everything out even when it should be common sense. Better yet, when it comes to doing anything with a flight attendant....just say no.
That's an awkward situation but even though you played 100% by the book you really set yourself up with this predicament. There rarely is a good outcome in those situations. Let's see:
Case 1: You tell her in the lobby before you go how expensive the restaurant is and she says, "Oh, I am sorry, I can't afford that. I won't come." Wouldn't you feel uncomfortable? I would.
Case 2: You go but she orders a small appetizer while you have your three course meal accompanied by fine wine. Now, how awkward is that?
Case 3: You go and she genuinely believes you are taking her out. She realizes her mistake and promptly pays her share thus spending more than she can afford; perhaps even more than she makes per day. Wouldn't you feel uncomfortable? I would.
Case 4: You go and after the meal she claims she can't pay or won't pay. I'd feel sorry for the person who resorts to trickery to get a free meal. In addition to not being your equal financially, she now demeans herself to not being your equal morally. On top of it, of course, you are out of money so this is twice as annoying.
I am not a bleeding heart liberal by any means but one has to be careful when in position of authority or better financial standing. Your situation is not unique - you can be the kid with privileged background who has more lunch money that any other school kid, or you may be better off financially than your colleagues because you have an outside source of income, or you can be the boss (or the pilot) who makes a lot more than your subordinates (or the FAs), etc, etc.
The best course of action is to not go out with the FA at all. Or take her out (which may have other pitfalls, and was not your intent anyway). Or if it is an old friend make alternative dining arrangements that are suitable and affordable to both of you.
My two cents.