^^Things I learned in UPT:

- Two's up.
- I'll have the chicken.
- I'll take the one on the ... LEFT!

Back to regularly scheduled programming:

What are the two best years of a pilot's life? Fourth grade.

What do you call Marine Corps Aviators with an IQ of 200? A flight of four.

What's the difference between an Airbus and a chain saw? ~300 trees/min.

What separates FAs from the scum of the earth? The cockpit door.

How can you pick out a FA at a dinner party? They're the ones that eat
while standing behind the curtains.

How does a FA get an amorous pilot out of her hotel room? Toss the
USA Today into the hallway.