Dear Rotorhead Landers,

Every time I see this thread get refreshed, my heart breaks all over again.
It's a reminder of what I've lost, gained, lost, lost, and gained, and then lost in my relationships.
I'm a divorced, unemployed male floatplane pilot approaching forty years old. I'm tall and thin, but have a few extra pounds around my middle. Probably about 35 to 60 extra pounds, I'm not sure. I am in pretty good shape though as I can run 2 miles in less than about an hour as long as the terrain is pretty flat. I can also do at least 15 push-ups if the mood strikes me. Some women have described me as handsome, but most of those women had substance abuse problems. I have a pretty decent wardrobe consisting of Army surplus clothing, Carhartts, and a hell of a lot of baseball caps.
I'm a caring, somewhat educated, mostly loyal, guy. A guy who loves walks on the beach during the off season, fast cars, fast women, slow airplanes, and the sound of a snooze button being pushed at 11:30 am.
I'm looking for a 28 to 28 and a half year old redhead with a killer bod, who likes the same things as me, and has a stable, well paying job that allows her to move to random parts of the country for 3 to 9 months at a time. It would also be helpful if she has a vehicle, preferably a large 4 wheel drive pickup, and can cook really good food. And has Tivo. And is really affectionate.
Can you help me? What am I doing wrong?

Sincerely, Lovelorn Trout on APCF