Originally Posted by
Kilgore Trout
I'm looking for a 28 to 28 and a half year old redhead with a killer bod, who likes the same things as me, and has a stable, well paying job that allows her to move to random parts of the country for 3 to 9 months at a time. It would also be helpful if she has a vehicle, preferably a large 4 wheel drive pickup, and can cook really good food. And has Tivo. And is really affectionate.
Can you help me? What am I doing wrong?
Sincerely, Lovelorn Trout on APCF
Deat Mr. Trout:
Tough, tough. Your first shot would be to contact the girlfriends of the OP and KC10's friend. They are at least available, or soon will be for one reason or another. See if they're redheads. Odds are less than fifty-fifty overall, but you might luck out. Kinda like my "hit-the-lottery" retirement plan.
If not, I'm afraid I don't have an elegant solution for you. I'd suggest you give up on the Tivo and truck (unless you find a job - then buy 'em yourself). Find a female Irish Setter. Four years old would meet your age specs. She'd be employable as a retriever so she'd bring in some income. I know of no girl under the age of forty who can cook. It's a lost art to them. Irish setters are second to none in the affection department, are loyal to a fault, and will take out your ex-wife in a heartbeat if she's stupid enough to come knocking (you asked for a "killer bod" - this is the best I can do).
You're doing nothing wrong. You're younger, better looking, and in better shape than I am. If
both those girls are redheads, send one to me. Don't send the setter, though. I like dogs too much to bring one over here.
Seriously, I'm sorry you're unemployed and hope you find something to your liking soon.
Sincerely,
rotorhead Anne