One of my friends posted this on Facebook... ha ha:

"I just got home from a friend's house, and apparently I missed the class on how to drive in the snow. From what I learned tonight, here's how you are supposed to handle snow in Memphis:

1. You must drive with your brights on. Since everyone else drives with them on, the only proper thing to do is follow the leader. Plus, everyone knows snow isn't reflective or anything. It's just like fog.

2. You may not drive in the right-hand lane. You may not drive in the left-hand lane. You may only drive on top of the white dashed line. Weaving is a plus.

3. You may not reduce speed accordingly. In most cities, the more snow there is, the slower you go. Not so in Memphrica. When the first signs of snow appear, the speed limit automatically reduces to 30. If the interstate is fairly clear, the speed limit may be increased to 35, provided the driver is between two lanes.

4. When turning, you must hit the brakes or gas. This is to facilitate a sliding action. If your vehicle makes a turn without sliding in some form or fashion, you suck at life, and should quit.

5. When braking, you must not allow your tires to continue spinning. Everyone knows sliding tires stop faster. If you can stop solely by colliding with objects harder/heavier than your car, consider yourself an excellent driver. Pedestrians, bushes, and small animals count too.

6. If you can successfully complete rules 1-5 while talking on your cell phone, you are a genious and should work for the DMV."