San Antonio: Always in the top five fattest cities in the US. Vies with Laredo, and Corpus Christi for that title each hear.

Key West: Independence day is right around the corner (April 23). Lived there several years. At the peak, tourists outnumber Conchs 5 to1*. Mainlanders have a hard time taking root there. There are only four things to do: drink, dive, fish, and drink. Time is measured more by the sun and tides than the clock. A bit too open minded (some would say decadent) for most people's taste. A cheaper, lower energy alternative would be the Middle Keys.

Toledo: is that Toe-LEE-doe, Ahya, or Toe-LAY-do, Espania? Well, either way it beets Cuyahoga Falls.





*Why did God invent tourists?
So Locals can get laid too.