From a BUFF perspective:

On the ground, know your A/R aero effects and your visual references cold before flying. Keep your eyes moving, don't focus on the director lights. You'll be able to detect movement visually before the director lights tell you. (Different story for KC-10 director lights, since they give you trend information). Get established in pre-contact and just fly there for several minutes. Don't tense up on the yoke or the throttles, relax your grip and force yourself to move your fingers. Try flying the yoke using only 2 or 3 fingers. When stable in pre-contact, note your fuel flow (or whatever you use, we use fuel flow in the BUFF). This will be the same throttle position/thrust setting you'll need once in the contact position. If you're having trouble transitioning through the tanker downwash (either overshooting or stagnating), have your IP or pilot not flying monitor your fuel flow/thrust setting change as you start to move to the contact position. They can tell you if you've over or under compensated your thrust change requirements. (in the BUFF, it only takes about 1-2K pounds/hr of fuel flow change, maybe 1/2 a knob width of throttle movement). If necessary, just practice making the throttle changes while in the pre-contact position and then back out. Keep trying it until you get the feel.

Most terrifying moment: When the new R-model digital autopilot suddenly kicks off when you're in contact. Holy crap, that will wake you up! Happened to me twice in 23 years.

Point of interest: Has anyone been able to make it out to the right and/or left limit and hold there when on the KC-10 boom?