COWBOY WAY:
The horse is dead. Get off.
Other Methods:
1. Buy a bigger whip.
2. Change riders.
3. Appoint a committee to study the horse.
4. Arrange lavish Congressional junkets to Caribbean nations to see how other cultures ride horses.
5. Lower standards so that dead horses can be included.
6. Reclassify the dead horse as "living impaired" so as not to discriminate.
7. Hire outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
8. Harness several dead horses together to increase speed.
9. Provide additional funding and training to increase dead horse's performance.
10. Do a 2-year $70,000,000 productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance.
11. Declare that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead, and therefor contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than a live horse.
12. Rewrite the expected performance requirements for all equines.
13. Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position.