Ok, Doc, here's your prescription:

Buy a VLJ. Shucks, you can even use your crappy Citation, the public will still think it's a 'neato jet'. Start a 135 air-taxi carrier. Name said carrier 'Major Airline'. Appoint self Captain (that should be the easy part, I'm guessing...). Bingo: You're a Major Airline Captain!

I'm curious to know why you feel you have such an insider's grasp of our industry in some respects, (all we do is turn on the seatbelt sign), and yet seem to know less than the average passenger in other respects (hint: they're called 'first officers, genius, not 'copilots').

You wouldn't last a week in a crew environment, since our industry has learned the value of CRM over an authoritarian management style, (not that you would ever make a mistake- I would love to ask your former colleagues about that one).

Maybe, just maybe, it's not the rest of the world, Doc. Maybe it's you...