Hi Mired,

The best thing you can do is lock your self in a room and watch nothing but Top Gun for 7 days straight. When you come out, you'll be a shirtless volleyball playing, motorcycle riding, beautiful woman who will age horribly humping, poop hot fighter pilot with a killer callsign.

Your PA's will be a thing of manly awesomeness, and people will immediatly think: "that man with the deep crooning voice must have a hairier chest than Hasslehoff and have done more hot chicks than Tiger Woods."

However, if it doesn't work... just make your voice crack and insert random words like "bojangles" and "beef jerky" into your PAs. They may still suck, but people will turn to their neighbor and go "did that random jumble of words include the word "monkeyhumper?" And that right there makes it all worth it.

Don't forget your hat when you snuffleufogus go to the lav.

Thanks for calling. Keep it real, keep it doublebreasted.

-Clamp