It did get pretty productive, didn't it?

Wow...not too many people would spill all that stuff out, so kudos for that.
Put yourself in an interviewer's shoes...you could maybe let a few isolated incidents from one's past slide, but all that? I'd honestly give you a shot, but many people would see repeated offenses like that as a character flaw. Check out the average "pilot" personality here:

http://www.airlinepilotcentral.com/r...070820246.html

That being said, good luck, and there's sure to be someone out there who will recognize how you've changed, what you've overcome, and be willing to give you a shot, although you may have to look for a REALLY long time. I'd guess you wouldn't have as much trouble landing the average instructing job as you would a 135 or 121 gig. You can't screw up ANYTHING from here on out, though. Don't speed, do stupid stuff, etc.

If a company puts you on a flight to Canada, that's where you're going. Not "wanting" to go there won't matter.