Originally Posted by
soon2bfo
-I also think that living together is like having an ejection seat. When it all goes to crap you just pull the handle and let it crash with everyone else involved going down too. Thats no way to start a real marriage.
I'm a little confused...not sure I completely understand that statement
!
I have dated my now turned fiance for 4 1/2 years, we've lived together for 4. When we first started this I told her upfront I want to work for an airline, I will be gone a lot, I won't make much money, etc. I even went so far as saying the jobs I go after, at least at first, come ahead of our relationship! She moved across the country 3 times FOR ME. She put her own career on hold while and worked menial, lousy secretarial jobs while in BFE so I could build flight time.
Yes - you could find a "sugar momma" to take care of you and help you survive on the low pay. But in my experiences those "sugar mommas" want you home with them, not out playing pilot having fun without them. I know of a few couples that have been in this situation and generally what happens is the decisions are made to maximize the women's income and the guy-pilot ends up either instructing for years or quitting aviation altogether.
As far as getting married/living with a girl if you are a pilot goes - you will probably end up spending more $$ in rent because they need to be in a safer neighborhood now that you aren't around. We got a dog for her (well, that's what I told her anyway
!!) to keep her company while I am gone and put her more at ease at night. She drives the newer, more reliable and safer car. Make an effort to call several times a day when you are gone. Always call at night to say good night. When you are home, do things with them, don't go hanging out at the bar with your friends all the time. If you find the right kind of women you will be fine. Tell them upfront, IMO if there is ANY hesitation with supporting YOUR goals then they are out. Move on. Being supportive is 50% of the reason for having a partner IMO. You are there for her and she is there for you.
EDITed to add: I've read that financial stressors are the biggest hump in relationships. One of the best decisions you can make in finding a "mate" IMO is finding someone that has the same spending habits as you. If she is spending all your money and running of credit card debt because she wants new shoes you won't ever climb out of your "keeping up with the Jones" hole. Ok that's it for relationship advice from me!!