Military and other ideas
Wegs,
You could always try the military. The army currently a program where someone with some college and some flight training could become a Warrant Officer and fly helicopters. Then the possibility exists to transition to fixed wing later, or move to a different service branch once you finish college. You would make a decent living and get all your flight training free of charge.
If the military doesn't appeal to you, you could get a job at an FBO, preferably one with a flight school, even if it is part time. This will give you the opportunity to meet people, which can open up flying opportunities. This usually also provides a discount on airplane rental and instruction. I use to charge the line guys half of what I charged everyone else. One of the guys, (newly married, very hard worker, not a whiner) I did his entire instrument rating for $500 and his commercial single engine for free. He paid for the plane, of course.
Another way you can do it is to get in to maintenance and learn to fix airplanes. You can go to school to do it (public state school, not a private one), or just get a job and learn as you go. This can open up flying opportunities also, and the A&P is often a desireable qualification.
Regardless of what you do, pay as you go. Save up some money and finish your cross country stuff. Then save up your money and do your checkride prep and checkride. Then fly your wife around a little while building about 25 hours of cross country time, also with cash, before starting your instrument rating. Save up your money to do the instrument rating. Then find the cheapest thing you can find that is safe to build time to 240 hours. Again, save your mone and do the commercial. You get the point?
It took me about 4 years from first flight to CFI while working another job, being married with kids, and paying the mortgage. It took me another 2 years to get a part time 135 job. Once I started flying for money, I did it part time while maintaining my other full time job. I still work part time in my old profession (less than 20 hours per week) because it pays well.
Bottom line is that you can do it, but you have to plan your work and work your plan to emerge on the other side victorious. Good luck!
By the way, I'm in a band too, but the pay is worse than entry level flying!