Thanks for the replies to my long winded reply to Jungle's initial post about Mr. Mitty and his delusions.
I appreciate it Alarkyokie, WW, and Mr. Tom G. Thanks for looking out for me, and others in my lot. Your counsel and advice are appreciated.
The good old "High Flight", some Robert Service, and a totally awesome link to an animated turtle dealing with existential issues.
It is hard sometimes to express one's self through any medium. A forgotten character, this Kilgore Trout. Most nowadays would be hard pressed to identify Kurt Vonnegut, or any of his protagonists.
I guess that is why I chose the screen name I have. I think I have decided it's important for me at least, on this, a pilot's forum, to express through writing some more personal issues than stuff normally found here. We're all human. I hope. Although I tend to learn more about technical aspects of aviation than, err, human factors.
Forgotten by most, but still out there. Kilgore Trout type characters. Prowling around. Getting it done with a touch of introspection.
Me- I'm not Kilgore Trout. I'm just a goofball travelling aviating dude you might have met somewhere. Many of you in SE AK know me. Sometimes feeling bummed by the personal situation I've placed myself in by my chosen profession, and location, and personal choices so far. But that's alright, I've got a bad ass life.
The other night I had a dream. I was driving in a little ratty Chevy Cavalier. I was poor, in my dream, just like real life. On my right was a funny female soul mate, she looked just like Bernadette Peters, and in the back in carseats were our two little cute tykes. We were on our way to the mall. The mall. I have not been to a mall in years. Not sure why I would go to one unless they had a Bass Pro Shop or something. Some place that sold Carhartt work pants anyway. I need some new ones.
Anyway, in the dream, we were laughing and joking, me and Bernadette. In our crummy little Chevy Cavalier in anytown USA.
Happy, not to be alone. In love I guess. Not sure what that feels like to be honest but it felt great in my dream. Going to the mall with my little family.
I bring this up because I think that is what I would trade all this awesome flying and adventure type stuff for now.
It's kind of boring most times what I do, and extremely scary the other times. Plus it does not pay very well.
I don't know how to get from here to there. I'm not sure I want to go there.
I admire those of you who have those things. Families. Love. Steady careers. You are braver than I am. Sometimes I feel pretty isolated, and take it out on APCF. I apologize.
But I'm alright. I don't wish for anything else. I'm a good pilot (so far) doing a challenging job. I enjoy it. It might be nice to fly a cargo plane to faraway locations someday, but for now, I'm pretty happy, and motivated to continue.
I do not wish for anything else other than the wind across my wings, and freedom and health for my friends and family.
We all make choices, we made a choice to be where we are, doing what we are doing. Embrace that. I'm trying.
Do your best, for yourself, your family, friends, and God.
Be safe out there.
