Here is some good background information, including the articles linked at the bottom:

What to Look For in a Divorce Attorney

Conventional wisdom used to be that guys should hire female dom-rel attorneys, particularly if the soon-to-be ex-wife hired a female attorney. Now, most judges who hear dom-rel cases hear a LOT of dom-rel cases, so the case for hiring a female attorney just because you're a guy doesn't really matter any more. Pick an attorney with whom you are comfortable, and one who will tell you the truth. That should narrow the field quite a bit.

Beyond that, recognize that, while the judge may let the parties tell their version(s) of the history of the relationship, dom-rel courts exist for the purpose of marshalling assets, dividing them equitably, and trying to create a custody/visitation arrangement that is as beneficial as possible to the kids. The court doesn't care about you, your ex, or what caused the divorce. The judge doesn't have time for those niceties. He or she has 500 other cases pending with the same problems. And for God's sake, nobody (including your attorney) is interested in an emergency motion because one or the other of you delivered the kids five minutes after the court-ordered time on Thanksgiving. They all have Thanksgiving, too.