Fifty things you pilot does not tell you...

1. We have a rope we can use to climb out our windows if things get bad. Unfortunately at 39,000 feet, it does not reach all the way to the ground.
2. Flying at about 500 miles an hour, if we were to stop suddenly, the dentures of the old man sitting behind you would fly out of his mouth and probably hit you.
3. The only people more unhappy than the people crowded in the airplanes are the flight attendants and pilots.
4. Pilots have very high opinions of themselves, usually higher than they fly.
5. Pilots keep the cockpit door locked and no one is allowed in because sometimes they fly around without their clothes.
6. When the pilot makes anouncements, he thinks he sounds like James Earl Jones, when he actually sounds like Don Knotts.
7. Pilots love flying, they just would rather fly by themselves.
8. Pilots are more concerned about an ontime arrival if they have a flight to catch to go home.
9. Sometimes pilots look at each other and at the same time say "what was that?"
10. If you think the cabin air is bad, you should be up in the cockpit with a captain who ate the hard boiled eggs and beef-n-bean burrito for lunch.

Obviously a little play here. It is hard to be serious because we are taught to tell all. Obviously, the technical and boring stuff is left out, but most people like to know what is going on. There is not a lot of obfuscating going on, at least to my knowledge. Good luck with your article...