You eat the food on the airplane that you'd never eat on the ground.

All your toilet paper at home is individually wrapped

You have a nice collection of Hotel Ice Buckets at home in your bar

You learn how to hack the crewroom computers to get on Facebook

You become a closet cleptomaniac

You have 137 Crowne Plaza Bed Kits at home

You have 42 Shoe Polish Kits at home and your shoes still aren't polished

You have a wide selection of single serve Coffees next to your brewer

You think the inventor of the Zipper Tie should be a world leader

You are so involved in discussion with your dispatcher concerning your fuel, that you forget about your clip-on tie that is attached to your chest pocket as you pace in the jetway while boarding

Your Rollerboard looks like it did a couple of tours in the skies over Nam!

You have no idea how much a USA Today costs

In the morning you "Load Up" your travel cooler with the free breakfast items at the La Quinta.

You pat your as* as the van driver walks away pretending to reach for your wallet knowing you have only $0.04 lint covered cents in your front pocket

You ask for the suite at the hotel jokingly and she hooks you up...with the Handicap Room. Ding Dong Ditch anyone at 5am?

You can actually decipher what TSA is saying to you

Your Luggage glows from all the radiation

You've sent passengers on wild goose chases around the terminal on purpose