Or, when you're DHing or commuting in your monkey suit -- and you didn't get your iPod earbuds in and your eyes closed fast enough -- you also have a plan to quickly end any conversation with a gabby pax:

Pax: "What's your route? Have you ever been scared in an airplane? How does it feel to be responsible for all those lives? I was on this flight once, and I swear this pilot didn't know what he was doing, because..."

You: "Actually, I'm only a part-time pilot. My full time job is selling life insurance. By the way, have you reviewed your life insurance policy lately?"

You'll ride in peace for the rest of the flight.