DH-ing over Halloween the man sitting next to me:

Him: "Are you in Halloween costume?"
Me: "No, this is my job"
Him: "I didnt know they let females fly"
My captain (sitting in the row infront of us): "Yes, its really not cool to impersonate a pilot while at an airport"



After landing really early in the morning a man comes up to the cockpit and asks who was flying?
Captain: "I was, why what can I help you with?"
Man: "I need your name and employee number, I need to report you to the FAA"
Captain: "Why what happened?"
Man: "Im a private pilot and know for a fact you never did a run up to check your magnetos."
Captain: "Sir, this is a jet engine and there are none, and we did do our version of a runup"
Man: "No, you never checked your magnetos and I need to report you"
Then turns to me and tells me he needs my as well because I let him takeoff without doing a runup, I told him not to spell my name incorrectly