I'm glad your experience has been so awesome, but as always, your mileage may vary.

Quality, value, style, service, selection, convenience
Economy, savings, performance, experience, hospitality
Low rates, friendly service, name brands, easy terms
Affordable prices, money-back guarantee.

Free installation, free admission, free appraisal, free alterations,
Free delivery, free estimates, free home trial, and free parking.
No cash? No problem! No kidding! No fuss, no muss,
No risk, no obligation, no red tape, no down payment,
No entry fee, no hidden charges, no purchase necessary,
No one will call on you, no payments or interest till September.

Limited time only, though, so act now, order today, send no money,
Offer good while supplies last, two to a customer, each item sold separately, Batteries not included, mileage may vary (again), all sales are final,
Allow six weeks for delivery, some items not available,
Some assembly required, some restrictions may apply.