I was told that UPSers get a discount on shipping at FedEx but when I asked the guy at Kinko's, he looked at me as if I was nuts.

I don’t think Kinko’s can give you “airline employee” discount, at least I’ve never been able to get one in the past (since FedEx took over), instead you must go to the nearest FedEx distribution center, but I'm not sure if upsers get a discount, probably not.