Family and Flying
12-16-2012, 03:03 PM
#11
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Nov 2008
Position: Knuckle-dragging line pilot
Posts: 943
Personally, I find my current schedule (17 on/13 off) much better than the standard 4 on/3 off at the passenger airlines. I did that for almost a decade in the regionals, and never felt like I was home long enough to plug in to what the rest of the family was doing. A lot of that was due to the unrelenting stress of commuting. How's the weather? How do the loads look? What flight should I try to catch? When will I get home? If you lived in base, that's a different discussion, but still, when you get hired by a major, you might go years before you get a holiday/weekend off.
12-16-2012, 05:18 PM
#12
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: May 2006
Posts: 2,889
My wife still loves me after 24 years. I also think she appreciates the fact that I make a lot more money than the stay at home dad, or the school teacher that sees little Johnny every day, or the guy who is home every night but grabs a martini the moment he walks through the door so he can cope with a job, boss, and life that he hates....
I love seeing the world. I love skiing in Utah, fishing in Alaska, drinking beers in Germany, drinking wine in Paris, and getting paid to do so. I enjoy sharing pictures, emails, phone calls, and frequent flyer miles with the family I love. They know I love what I do, and when I can I unclench my tight little cheap-ass pilot hands off my wallet and I fly them to join me. I make 80-90% of the "important stuff", but when I miss an event my family understands that is the cost of doing business at times. Want a horsie? What to go skiing with daddy at Alta? Want to be have a car when you are sixteen? Want to be able to go out of state to college? Well...if you do--then pops has to pay some dues here and there.
Not every wife is like this, but mine certainly doesn't need me around 24/7. She has her own career, her own dreams, and I have found by supporting the heck out hers for over 20 years she has always supported mine too. Yeah its corny, but she is my best friend, and we are still very much in love after all these years. The pragmatic part of me says that perhaps not being around all the time facilitates some of that love, and direct deposit reinforces it as well. Seriously-- If you are insecure about your relationship this job could be hell. With the right partner its a ticket to some neat adventures you can share with the whole bunch.
Real story--missed my youngest (10) and wife's BD this week on a trip I tried to drop no less than 40 times without luck. Came home this weekend and took wife out for nice dinner and had a wonderful date. Church today followed by BD celebration for 10 year old. Then after lunch took kids out to our farm and did some shooting. I will also probably have lunch with both kids this week during school hours, something many other parents cannot do. When I am off--I'm home--helping with honey-dos, having fun with kids after school, and enjoying the time. My girls have seen New England, Alaska, Utah, California, Washington DC, Paris, Germany, and England all in the last 24 months. They get to do things most kids only get to do once every 2-3 years if ever.
I've got friends in other jobs, and some who stayed in the military or went AGR. They are home alright, but they are tired, stressed, and spend a lot of time I am around them talking office politics and stressing about the next big work issue. I have zero work stress to take home, and as a result I am pretty much ready and available to work, chaperone, play, chauffeur, dog-sit, cat-sit, or whatever else needs to be done around the house. I also just sent directions to a friend of how to get to a great little spot in Milan that serves some incredible black pasta and seafood. He is there on a layover now, and I've been several times in the last couple years. How many guys in your neighborhood know where to get a good meal in Cologne, San Francisco, Paris, or Campinas?
Its all perspective, but holy crap I wouldn't trade my life with anyone that I know. Its easy to feel sorry for yourself in a crappy hotel on the holiday away from family, but that is only part of the job. For every bad day you have at work there are others who have weeks of misery in their jobs. Try to keep the big picture, keep the family involved in what you are doing, and look for the chances to make this job fun for everyone. I took my wife on quite a few trips, and brought a lot of neat stuff home from around the country and globe for my kids. Pretty soon you may find they aren't upset you aren't there, but instead and asking for another snow globe from xxx or a new radio helicopter from China.
Then again--if it still isn't for you, cool. When you step back you just made a slot for someone else's dream to come true. It really does take all kinds.
I love seeing the world. I love skiing in Utah, fishing in Alaska, drinking beers in Germany, drinking wine in Paris, and getting paid to do so. I enjoy sharing pictures, emails, phone calls, and frequent flyer miles with the family I love. They know I love what I do, and when I can I unclench my tight little cheap-ass pilot hands off my wallet and I fly them to join me. I make 80-90% of the "important stuff", but when I miss an event my family understands that is the cost of doing business at times. Want a horsie? What to go skiing with daddy at Alta? Want to be have a car when you are sixteen? Want to be able to go out of state to college? Well...if you do--then pops has to pay some dues here and there.
Not every wife is like this, but mine certainly doesn't need me around 24/7. She has her own career, her own dreams, and I have found by supporting the heck out hers for over 20 years she has always supported mine too. Yeah its corny, but she is my best friend, and we are still very much in love after all these years. The pragmatic part of me says that perhaps not being around all the time facilitates some of that love, and direct deposit reinforces it as well. Seriously-- If you are insecure about your relationship this job could be hell. With the right partner its a ticket to some neat adventures you can share with the whole bunch.
Real story--missed my youngest (10) and wife's BD this week on a trip I tried to drop no less than 40 times without luck. Came home this weekend and took wife out for nice dinner and had a wonderful date. Church today followed by BD celebration for 10 year old. Then after lunch took kids out to our farm and did some shooting. I will also probably have lunch with both kids this week during school hours, something many other parents cannot do. When I am off--I'm home--helping with honey-dos, having fun with kids after school, and enjoying the time. My girls have seen New England, Alaska, Utah, California, Washington DC, Paris, Germany, and England all in the last 24 months. They get to do things most kids only get to do once every 2-3 years if ever.
I've got friends in other jobs, and some who stayed in the military or went AGR. They are home alright, but they are tired, stressed, and spend a lot of time I am around them talking office politics and stressing about the next big work issue. I have zero work stress to take home, and as a result I am pretty much ready and available to work, chaperone, play, chauffeur, dog-sit, cat-sit, or whatever else needs to be done around the house. I also just sent directions to a friend of how to get to a great little spot in Milan that serves some incredible black pasta and seafood. He is there on a layover now, and I've been several times in the last couple years. How many guys in your neighborhood know where to get a good meal in Cologne, San Francisco, Paris, or Campinas?
Its all perspective, but holy crap I wouldn't trade my life with anyone that I know. Its easy to feel sorry for yourself in a crappy hotel on the holiday away from family, but that is only part of the job. For every bad day you have at work there are others who have weeks of misery in their jobs. Try to keep the big picture, keep the family involved in what you are doing, and look for the chances to make this job fun for everyone. I took my wife on quite a few trips, and brought a lot of neat stuff home from around the country and globe for my kids. Pretty soon you may find they aren't upset you aren't there, but instead and asking for another snow globe from xxx or a new radio helicopter from China.
Then again--if it still isn't for you, cool. When you step back you just made a slot for someone else's dream to come true. It really does take all kinds.
12-16-2012, 05:30 PM
#13
Thx Age 65
Joined APC: Jul 2005
Position: MD11CAP
Posts: 1,041
Originally Posted by Albief15
I have zero work stress to take home, and as a result I am pretty much ready and available to work, chaperone, play, chauffeur, dog-sit, cat-sit, or whatever else needs to be done around the house.
12-16-2012, 05:30 PM
#14
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Oct 2006
Position: B767 Capt.
Posts: 616
The outside world can never fully comprehend our way of life. Only spouses/significant others somewhat get what's going on.
If someone from outside your household is giving you any grief about time spent with your family I'd shut that down quick.
If any of them are complaining about time spent with them tell them that if necessary you'll split the time fairly between the families and hack the clock as soon as you walk through the door. I had to threaten to do this only once, they got the hint.
If someone from outside your household is giving you any grief about time spent with your family I'd shut that down quick.
If any of them are complaining about time spent with them tell them that if necessary you'll split the time fairly between the families and hack the clock as soon as you walk through the door. I had to threaten to do this only once, they got the hint.
12-16-2012, 09:51 PM
#15
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Nov 2005
Position: 777 FO
Posts: 931
If it becomes a huge issue, move to domicile. I did, but had mixed results. It got me a lot of time off, a lot more money, and no commuting. But my wife hated Memphis and we moved back to Florida and we' both happy. There are a ton of factors that go into QOL, you just have to make sure you and the fam are on the same page.
12-16-2012, 11:56 PM
#16
...Whatever It Is!
Joined APC: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,680
Originally Posted by Rhino12
Thankful to be at a reputable company flying cargo, a guard/reserve guy in a good unit, have a wife and baby. I love my days at home with my family and even was able to bid off Christmas my first year (I do work on 26th).
The other side of the family is giving me a boatload of grief this year about "being away" over the holidays and missing our little ones life events. I am fairly perplexed by their point of view - they even hinted I should consider a career change (not gonna happen). I looked at the calendar and counted a lot more days at home than away.
This is usually good cockpit/flight deck talk - but I am interested in hearing what others think. Has this job kept you closer to your family? Hurt your family? Both? Would you have changed anything? If so, what? I don't believe there is such thing as a perfect job - I am a realist.
I appreciate your thoughts and have a Merry Christmas wherever you all will be!
The other side of the family is giving me a boatload of grief this year about "being away" over the holidays and missing our little ones life events. I am fairly perplexed by their point of view - they even hinted I should consider a career change (not gonna happen). I looked at the calendar and counted a lot more days at home than away.
This is usually good cockpit/flight deck talk - but I am interested in hearing what others think. Has this job kept you closer to your family? Hurt your family? Both? Would you have changed anything? If so, what? I don't believe there is such thing as a perfect job - I am a realist.
I appreciate your thoughts and have a Merry Christmas wherever you all will be!
12-17-2012, 12:05 AM
#17
...Whatever It Is!
Joined APC: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,680
Originally Posted by Albief15
Real story--missed my youngest (10) and wife's BD this week on a trip I tried to drop no less than 40 times without luck. Came home this weekend and took wife out for nice dinner and had a wonderful date. Church today followed by BD celebration for 10 year old. Then after lunch took kids out to our farm and did some shooting. I will also probably have lunch with both kids this week during school hours, something many other parents cannot do. When I am off--I'm home--helping with honey-dos, having fun with kids after school, and enjoying the time.
Last year I missed Christmas with my daughter for the first time, but then met her and my wife in HI for a couple weeks 2 days later. Today is my daughter's 9th birthday (she was born on the 100th anniversary of the Wright Bros flight) and it is the first one I'll miss, but I'll meet her and my wife in NYC tomorrow for 5 days. The actual dates aren't important, it's what you do with the days that you have!
12-17-2012, 05:00 AM
#19
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Apr 2006
Position: MD-11 Captain
Posts: 4,304
In my 25 years in the airline business I've only ever missed one Christmas and I never missed a Thanksgiving (missed many New Years but that's not very high on my personal list). In order to say that I had to fly some pretty crummy lines and a few of those were layovers at home; layover at home are OK).
I would bid around my son's sporting and school events, I was able to attend many (maybe most?) of them.
I'm not sure the family appreciates the sacrifices I've made to do my best to try to be there for important family events but I know I have done my best ...
And ... they got to live in a VERY NICE neighborhood with VERY good schools, and the wife will have a VERY NICE RETIREMENT if she chooses to stay married for a few more years
I would bid around my son's sporting and school events, I was able to attend many (maybe most?) of them.
I'm not sure the family appreciates the sacrifices I've made to do my best to try to be there for important family events but I know I have done my best ...
And ... they got to live in a VERY NICE neighborhood with VERY good schools, and the wife will have a VERY NICE RETIREMENT if she chooses to stay married for a few more years
12-17-2012, 07:39 AM
#20
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Sep 2007
Position: 777 Captain in Training
Posts: 1,457
Originally Posted by Albief15
My wife still loves me after 24 years. I also think she appreciates the fact that I make a lot more money than the stay at home dad, or the school teacher that sees little Johnny every day, or the guy who is home every night but grabs a martini the moment he walks through the door so he can cope with a job, boss, and life that he hates....
I love seeing the world. I love skiing in Utah, fishing in Alaska, drinking beers in Germany, drinking wine in Paris, and getting paid to do so. I enjoy sharing pictures, emails, phone calls, and frequent flyer miles with the family I love. They know I love what I do, and when I can I unclench my tight little cheap-ass pilot hands off my wallet and I fly them to join me. I make 80-90% of the "important stuff", but when I miss an event my family understands that is the cost of doing business at times. Want a horsie? What to go skiing with daddy at Alta? Want to be have a car when you are sixteen? Want to be able to go out of state to college? Well...if you do--then pops has to pay some dues here and there.
Not every wife is like this, but mine certainly doesn't need me around 24/7. She has her own career, her own dreams, and I have found by supporting the heck out hers for over 20 years she has always supported mine too. Yeah its corny, but she is my best friend, and we are still very much in love after all these years. The pragmatic part of me says that perhaps not being around all the time facilitates some of that love, and direct deposit reinforces it as well. Seriously-- If you are insecure about your relationship this job could be hell. With the right partner its a ticket to some neat adventures you can share with the whole bunch.
Real story--missed my youngest (10) and wife's BD this week on a trip I tried to drop no less than 40 times without luck. Came home this weekend and took wife out for nice dinner and had a wonderful date. Church today followed by BD celebration for 10 year old. Then after lunch took kids out to our farm and did some shooting. I will also probably have lunch with both kids this week during school hours, something many other parents cannot do. When I am off--I'm home--helping with honey-dos, having fun with kids after school, and enjoying the time. My girls have seen New England, Alaska, Utah, California, Washington DC, Paris, Germany, and England all in the last 24 months. They get to do things most kids only get to do once every 2-3 years if ever.
I've got friends in other jobs, and some who stayed in the military or went AGR. They are home alright, but they are tired, stressed, and spend a lot of time I am around them talking office politics and stressing about the next big work issue. I have zero work stress to take home, and as a result I am pretty much ready and available to work, chaperone, play, chauffeur, dog-sit, cat-sit, or whatever else needs to be done around the house. I also just sent directions to a friend of how to get to a great little spot in Milan that serves some incredible black pasta and seafood. He is there on a layover now, and I've been several times in the last couple years. How many guys in your neighborhood know where to get a good meal in Cologne, San Francisco, Paris, or Campinas?
Its all perspective, but holy crap I wouldn't trade my life with anyone that I know. Its easy to feel sorry for yourself in a crappy hotel on the holiday away from family, but that is only part of the job. For every bad day you have at work there are others who have weeks of misery in their jobs. Try to keep the big picture, keep the family involved in what you are doing, and look for the chances to make this job fun for everyone. I took my wife on quite a few trips, and brought a lot of neat stuff home from around the country and globe for my kids. Pretty soon you may find they aren't upset you aren't there, but instead and asking for another snow globe from xxx or a new radio helicopter from China.
Then again--if it still isn't for you, cool. When you step back you just made a slot for someone else's dream to come true. It really does take all kinds.
I love seeing the world. I love skiing in Utah, fishing in Alaska, drinking beers in Germany, drinking wine in Paris, and getting paid to do so. I enjoy sharing pictures, emails, phone calls, and frequent flyer miles with the family I love. They know I love what I do, and when I can I unclench my tight little cheap-ass pilot hands off my wallet and I fly them to join me. I make 80-90% of the "important stuff", but when I miss an event my family understands that is the cost of doing business at times. Want a horsie? What to go skiing with daddy at Alta? Want to be have a car when you are sixteen? Want to be able to go out of state to college? Well...if you do--then pops has to pay some dues here and there.
Not every wife is like this, but mine certainly doesn't need me around 24/7. She has her own career, her own dreams, and I have found by supporting the heck out hers for over 20 years she has always supported mine too. Yeah its corny, but she is my best friend, and we are still very much in love after all these years. The pragmatic part of me says that perhaps not being around all the time facilitates some of that love, and direct deposit reinforces it as well. Seriously-- If you are insecure about your relationship this job could be hell. With the right partner its a ticket to some neat adventures you can share with the whole bunch.
Real story--missed my youngest (10) and wife's BD this week on a trip I tried to drop no less than 40 times without luck. Came home this weekend and took wife out for nice dinner and had a wonderful date. Church today followed by BD celebration for 10 year old. Then after lunch took kids out to our farm and did some shooting. I will also probably have lunch with both kids this week during school hours, something many other parents cannot do. When I am off--I'm home--helping with honey-dos, having fun with kids after school, and enjoying the time. My girls have seen New England, Alaska, Utah, California, Washington DC, Paris, Germany, and England all in the last 24 months. They get to do things most kids only get to do once every 2-3 years if ever.
I've got friends in other jobs, and some who stayed in the military or went AGR. They are home alright, but they are tired, stressed, and spend a lot of time I am around them talking office politics and stressing about the next big work issue. I have zero work stress to take home, and as a result I am pretty much ready and available to work, chaperone, play, chauffeur, dog-sit, cat-sit, or whatever else needs to be done around the house. I also just sent directions to a friend of how to get to a great little spot in Milan that serves some incredible black pasta and seafood. He is there on a layover now, and I've been several times in the last couple years. How many guys in your neighborhood know where to get a good meal in Cologne, San Francisco, Paris, or Campinas?
Its all perspective, but holy crap I wouldn't trade my life with anyone that I know. Its easy to feel sorry for yourself in a crappy hotel on the holiday away from family, but that is only part of the job. For every bad day you have at work there are others who have weeks of misery in their jobs. Try to keep the big picture, keep the family involved in what you are doing, and look for the chances to make this job fun for everyone. I took my wife on quite a few trips, and brought a lot of neat stuff home from around the country and globe for my kids. Pretty soon you may find they aren't upset you aren't there, but instead and asking for another snow globe from xxx or a new radio helicopter from China.
Then again--if it still isn't for you, cool. When you step back you just made a slot for someone else's dream to come true. It really does take all kinds.
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