ATL to get "Plane Train" upgrades
 

good bot......

Dear ATL:

Nice train. Now, please keep the AC on. Yeah I know it's 68 outside and it's "nice". It still gets hot down there. My taint shouldn't get soupy standing still riding your train.

I'd be happier if US airports were quiet. Like European ones. I know firearms aren't allowed. I know to keep my belongings in my personal possession at all times. I don't need to hear it every 2 minutes.

And ATL, enough with the 1970's porn soundtracks in every concourse.

I especially don’t need constant reminders that ATL is the “world’s busiest and most efficient airport”. As if being an overcrowded h*llhole is something to be proud of.

For that matter, no airport should ever be playing city mayor PAs on loop all day.

Do you have to have a status to get these upgrades, or are they paid? I want lay flat plane train.

I'd start bidding trips through Atlanta if I could ride a lay flat plane train.

How would you ever get some R&R without some Atlanta politician welcoming you home?

Go to the Air Canada gates in Terminal A at EWR! AC uses an automated system to make all announcements. Volume turned up to 11 and all announcements are made twice: once in english and once in french. It’s absurd.

You wouldn’t like the alternative. Trust me.

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Nah its classy. I say keep it.

What are you talking about? Every plane train is a lay-flat plane train if you're courageous enough!

don’t you want to know who the mayor is of each city?

"Hi I'm Atlanta mayor Andre Dickens"

”I’m Orlando mayor Buddy Dyer”

"I'm Salt Lake City Mayor Erin Mendenhall...blah blah blah blah blah"

Bring back the robot voice for the train.

But I NEED to know that Atlanta is in the Eastern Time Zone! And I NEED to know it every 10 minutes, just in case it changes.

A million times this!!!

"Please move to the center of the vehicle and away from the doors!"

I'm Wayne County Executive Warren Evans, who had a terminal named after me while I'm still in office!

lol

I went there once and it was in central time. That announcement is important, you just never know.

JFK Airtrain as it pulls into the airport:

“Be sure to arrive at the airport early. Never rush to catch your flight…”

Maybe it’s advice for next time 🤔

This one gets me…so you’re going to tell me the time zone but not the actual time? Then you’re going to tell me the time zone again in Spanish.

Everyone has either a smartwatch or a phone. Make it stop.

Also, can we do away with the country music clips that are at volume 11 on the Denver Airport train?

It even plays in the restroom. I once saw a guy try 3 soap dispensers none of which worked only to shout out “C’mon Andre Dickens! Whatcha gonna do about the soap?!”:D

I forget which airport it is, but one of them has an announcement similar to: "You may not bring firearms through airport security. Check with your air carrier or the TSA for more information."

Robot lady, I'm already on the secure side.

What a wimp. REAL Men don’t wash their hands. I see it all the time while washing my fragile precious fingers.

And that I am arriving at Concourse C, as in coffee, which is available on all concourses.

But why do some people drink from bathroom sinks?

I can barely take it days when they're simultaneously blaring duel or triple announcements. Just noise for the sake of noise. It's no wonder nerves are frayed.

"The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone."

I'm just salty they closed the Cuban restaurant in the T gates and put the most sad and generic convenience store there, even though there already is one on the other side of security. That place looks like a broke teenager decided to open a vape shop and stocked it with the snacks he had in his pantry. I want my tostones back dammit.

There is a reason DL ripped out all of the TVs blaring CNN at full volume in every gate

But does the checkout (and maybe even SELF checkout) credit card machine have a "tip" option? That's what's important.

Hear hear! I loved their pollo vaca frita. 🤬

I approve of this reference.

“The red zone has always been for loading and unloading of passengers. There's never stopping in a white zone.”

Papi’s is the bomb! Love their Cuban sandwich & the medianoche….

Still there in Midtown (ops checked a few weeks ago), but definitely a loss for ATL….

"Listen betty, don't start up with your white zone **** again!"

RIP my small reprieve. You stood squarely against the grain of airport monotony. May your owners never be without ham, pickles and mustard.

​​​​​​Don't you tell me which zone is for loading, and which zone is for stopping!