Memes for Morale
06-17-2019, 12:34 AM
#31
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Dec 2005
Posts: 8,898
Can this be made into a meme?
ATTENTION: FLOWBACKS
I am your First Officer. And you worst nightmare. You took my job. I was captain on this airplane, I had a lot of time on it, too, and a lot of other airplanes. I was a great captain with an excellent record, and I have experience in conditions you can scarcely imagine. Your knowledge, training, and experience are trivial compared to mine. But you decided to take my job and career from me. You do know what they call people who take other people's jobs, don't you? The word is scAAb, and you will be treated accordingly. As such, I will do only what is necessary to keep myself from getting killed or violated or fired, but beyond that you are on your own. I am not paid to do IOE, so I won't give you any advice on anything. If I yell MY AIRPLANE real loud, let go, because I am trying to save my life and because you have screwed up. I have no respect for you and I have made it my purpose in life to get you fired. If you break the rules or do something stupid, it will be reported at once. If you break any FARs, I have the FAA on speed dial, and they will be informed immediately.
I might feign mild friendliness, but it is just an act: I am sure that you have been instructed by management to report anyone who acts hostile to you, but I will also be trying to set you up: If you say anything that is sexist, racist, homophobic, politically incorrect, or offensive in any way, shape or form to anyone on the planet, I will file a Rule 32 violation against you. These black marks on your record will follow you everywhere you go in the future. If you are fired from Eagle for these violations, you will not be recalled to AA and there is nothing that APA can do about it, and you won't be able to get a job towing banners. Just because you had the connections or interview skills or demographics to get a job at AA, do NOT pretend for one single moment that your skill as a pilot is superior to mine, or for that matter even remotely comparable. You are a shaved tail amateur compared to the flying I have done. You can expect me to constantly ridicule you abilities, however, the criticism will be unconstructive and designed only to make you feel rotten about yourself, which is something you desperately deserve. You made a serious mistake in opting to come to Eagle. You aren't wanted here.
You will be hated and despised. You will have no friends among Eagle pilots, and we will all endeavor to make your life as miserable as possible.It is only a matter of time before you or one of your ilk turns one of our fine airplanes into a lawn dart. On that tragic day, you can expect every single Eagle FO to become a "Deep Throat" not just for the benefit of the FAA and NTSB, but also for the press and public, creating a scandal that will destroy not just Eagle, but also AMR as a whole. Your coming here has created one of the worst Crew Resource Management problems in aviation history and it is all your fault. Because you have ruined our careers, we have nothing to lose. Eagle has the WORST contract in the business. Through experience, most of us have figured out how to cope with its weak points, but we won't share any of this information with you. Your life will be a living hell. Ours has been for a long time, and your coming here has made it worse, and we will take it out on you.You are not the first to flowback.
Many of those who came before managed to get out of it the only way they could: by activating their reserve commissions. They would rather be shot at in Iraq then continue to work at Eagle: Think about that! You were warned to stay away. You demonstrated incredibly poor judgement in coming anyway. You are my enemy. You will be the scapegoat for all the bad things that have happened at Eagle. It is unlikely you will last long here. We are determined to get you off Eagle property either by getting you canned or driving you to the point where you run screaming off the property. Welcome to
hell.
signed,
Captain X.
ATTENTION: FLOWBACKS
I am your First Officer. And you worst nightmare. You took my job. I was captain on this airplane, I had a lot of time on it, too, and a lot of other airplanes. I was a great captain with an excellent record, and I have experience in conditions you can scarcely imagine. Your knowledge, training, and experience are trivial compared to mine. But you decided to take my job and career from me. You do know what they call people who take other people's jobs, don't you? The word is scAAb, and you will be treated accordingly. As such, I will do only what is necessary to keep myself from getting killed or violated or fired, but beyond that you are on your own. I am not paid to do IOE, so I won't give you any advice on anything. If I yell MY AIRPLANE real loud, let go, because I am trying to save my life and because you have screwed up. I have no respect for you and I have made it my purpose in life to get you fired. If you break the rules or do something stupid, it will be reported at once. If you break any FARs, I have the FAA on speed dial, and they will be informed immediately.
I might feign mild friendliness, but it is just an act: I am sure that you have been instructed by management to report anyone who acts hostile to you, but I will also be trying to set you up: If you say anything that is sexist, racist, homophobic, politically incorrect, or offensive in any way, shape or form to anyone on the planet, I will file a Rule 32 violation against you. These black marks on your record will follow you everywhere you go in the future. If you are fired from Eagle for these violations, you will not be recalled to AA and there is nothing that APA can do about it, and you won't be able to get a job towing banners. Just because you had the connections or interview skills or demographics to get a job at AA, do NOT pretend for one single moment that your skill as a pilot is superior to mine, or for that matter even remotely comparable. You are a shaved tail amateur compared to the flying I have done. You can expect me to constantly ridicule you abilities, however, the criticism will be unconstructive and designed only to make you feel rotten about yourself, which is something you desperately deserve. You made a serious mistake in opting to come to Eagle. You aren't wanted here.
You will be hated and despised. You will have no friends among Eagle pilots, and we will all endeavor to make your life as miserable as possible.It is only a matter of time before you or one of your ilk turns one of our fine airplanes into a lawn dart. On that tragic day, you can expect every single Eagle FO to become a "Deep Throat" not just for the benefit of the FAA and NTSB, but also for the press and public, creating a scandal that will destroy not just Eagle, but also AMR as a whole. Your coming here has created one of the worst Crew Resource Management problems in aviation history and it is all your fault. Because you have ruined our careers, we have nothing to lose. Eagle has the WORST contract in the business. Through experience, most of us have figured out how to cope with its weak points, but we won't share any of this information with you. Your life will be a living hell. Ours has been for a long time, and your coming here has made it worse, and we will take it out on you.You are not the first to flowback.
Many of those who came before managed to get out of it the only way they could: by activating their reserve commissions. They would rather be shot at in Iraq then continue to work at Eagle: Think about that! You were warned to stay away. You demonstrated incredibly poor judgement in coming anyway. You are my enemy. You will be the scapegoat for all the bad things that have happened at Eagle. It is unlikely you will last long here. We are determined to get you off Eagle property either by getting you canned or driving you to the point where you run screaming off the property. Welcome to
hell.
signed,
Captain X.
06-17-2019, 03:25 AM
#32
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Mar 2017
Posts: 3,649
Originally Posted by ShyGuy
Can this be made into a meme?
ATTENTION: FLOWBACKS
I am your First Officer. And you worst nightmare. You took my job. I was captain on this airplane, I had a lot of time on it, too, and a lot of other airplanes. I was a great captain with an excellent record, and I have experience in conditions you can scarcely imagine. Your knowledge, training, and experience are trivial compared to mine. But you decided to take my job and career from me. You do know what they call people who take other people's jobs, don't you? The word is scAAb, and you will be treated accordingly. As such, I will do only what is necessary to keep myself from getting killed or violated or fired, but beyond that you are on your own. I am not paid to do IOE, so I won't give you any advice on anything. If I yell MY AIRPLANE real loud, let go, because I am trying to save my life and because you have screwed up. I have no respect for you and I have made it my purpose in life to get you fired. If you break the rules or do something stupid, it will be reported at once. If you break any FARs, I have the FAA on speed dial, and they will be informed immediately.
I might feign mild friendliness, but it is just an act: I am sure that you have been instructed by management to report anyone who acts hostile to you, but I will also be trying to set you up: If you say anything that is sexist, racist, homophobic, politically incorrect, or offensive in any way, shape or form to anyone on the planet, I will file a Rule 32 violation against you. These black marks on your record will follow you everywhere you go in the future. If you are fired from Eagle for these violations, you will not be recalled to AA and there is nothing that APA can do about it, and you won't be able to get a job towing banners. Just because you had the connections or interview skills or demographics to get a job at AA, do NOT pretend for one single moment that your skill as a pilot is superior to mine, or for that matter even remotely comparable. You are a shaved tail amateur compared to the flying I have done. You can expect me to constantly ridicule you abilities, however, the criticism will be unconstructive and designed only to make you feel rotten about yourself, which is something you desperately deserve. You made a serious mistake in opting to come to Eagle. You aren't wanted here.
You will be hated and despised. You will have no friends among Eagle pilots, and we will all endeavor to make your life as miserable as possible.It is only a matter of time before you or one of your ilk turns one of our fine airplanes into a lawn dart. On that tragic day, you can expect every single Eagle FO to become a "Deep Throat" not just for the benefit of the FAA and NTSB, but also for the press and public, creating a scandal that will destroy not just Eagle, but also AMR as a whole. Your coming here has created one of the worst Crew Resource Management problems in aviation history and it is all your fault. Because you have ruined our careers, we have nothing to lose. Eagle has the WORST contract in the business. Through experience, most of us have figured out how to cope with its weak points, but we won't share any of this information with you. Your life will be a living hell. Ours has been for a long time, and your coming here has made it worse, and we will take it out on you.You are not the first to flowback.
Many of those who came before managed to get out of it the only way they could: by activating their reserve commissions. They would rather be shot at in Iraq then continue to work at Eagle: Think about that! You were warned to stay away. You demonstrated incredibly poor judgement in coming anyway. You are my enemy. You will be the scapegoat for all the bad things that have happened at Eagle. It is unlikely you will last long here. We are determined to get you off Eagle property either by getting you canned or driving you to the point where you run screaming off the property. Welcome to
hell.
signed,
Captain X.
ATTENTION: FLOWBACKS
I am your First Officer. And you worst nightmare. You took my job. I was captain on this airplane, I had a lot of time on it, too, and a lot of other airplanes. I was a great captain with an excellent record, and I have experience in conditions you can scarcely imagine. Your knowledge, training, and experience are trivial compared to mine. But you decided to take my job and career from me. You do know what they call people who take other people's jobs, don't you? The word is scAAb, and you will be treated accordingly. As such, I will do only what is necessary to keep myself from getting killed or violated or fired, but beyond that you are on your own. I am not paid to do IOE, so I won't give you any advice on anything. If I yell MY AIRPLANE real loud, let go, because I am trying to save my life and because you have screwed up. I have no respect for you and I have made it my purpose in life to get you fired. If you break the rules or do something stupid, it will be reported at once. If you break any FARs, I have the FAA on speed dial, and they will be informed immediately.
I might feign mild friendliness, but it is just an act: I am sure that you have been instructed by management to report anyone who acts hostile to you, but I will also be trying to set you up: If you say anything that is sexist, racist, homophobic, politically incorrect, or offensive in any way, shape or form to anyone on the planet, I will file a Rule 32 violation against you. These black marks on your record will follow you everywhere you go in the future. If you are fired from Eagle for these violations, you will not be recalled to AA and there is nothing that APA can do about it, and you won't be able to get a job towing banners. Just because you had the connections or interview skills or demographics to get a job at AA, do NOT pretend for one single moment that your skill as a pilot is superior to mine, or for that matter even remotely comparable. You are a shaved tail amateur compared to the flying I have done. You can expect me to constantly ridicule you abilities, however, the criticism will be unconstructive and designed only to make you feel rotten about yourself, which is something you desperately deserve. You made a serious mistake in opting to come to Eagle. You aren't wanted here.
You will be hated and despised. You will have no friends among Eagle pilots, and we will all endeavor to make your life as miserable as possible.It is only a matter of time before you or one of your ilk turns one of our fine airplanes into a lawn dart. On that tragic day, you can expect every single Eagle FO to become a "Deep Throat" not just for the benefit of the FAA and NTSB, but also for the press and public, creating a scandal that will destroy not just Eagle, but also AMR as a whole. Your coming here has created one of the worst Crew Resource Management problems in aviation history and it is all your fault. Because you have ruined our careers, we have nothing to lose. Eagle has the WORST contract in the business. Through experience, most of us have figured out how to cope with its weak points, but we won't share any of this information with you. Your life will be a living hell. Ours has been for a long time, and your coming here has made it worse, and we will take it out on you.You are not the first to flowback.
Many of those who came before managed to get out of it the only way they could: by activating their reserve commissions. They would rather be shot at in Iraq then continue to work at Eagle: Think about that! You were warned to stay away. You demonstrated incredibly poor judgement in coming anyway. You are my enemy. You will be the scapegoat for all the bad things that have happened at Eagle. It is unlikely you will last long here. We are determined to get you off Eagle property either by getting you canned or driving you to the point where you run screaming off the property. Welcome to
hell.
signed,
Captain X.
06-17-2019, 04:14 AM
#33
Line Holder
Joined APC: Jan 2019
Posts: 65
[QUOTE=ShyGuy;2838002]Can this be made into a meme?
ATTENTION: FLOWBACKS
I am your First Officer. And you worst nightmare. You took my job. I was captain on this airplane, I had a lot of time on it, too, and a lot of other airplanes. I was a great captain with an excellent record, and I have experience in conditions you can scarcely imagine. Your knowledge, training, and experience are trivial compared to mine. But you decided to take my job and career from me. You do know what they call people who take other people's jobs, don't you? The word is scAAb, and you will be treated accordingly. As such, I will do only what is necessary to keep myself from getting killed or violated or fired, but beyond that you are on your own. I am not paid to do IOE, so I won't give you any advice on anything. If I yell MY AIRPLANE real loud, let go, because I am trying to save my life and because you have screwed up. I have no respect for you and I have made it my purpose in life to get you fired. If you break the rules or do something stupid, it will be reported at once. If you break any FARs, I have the FAA on speed dial, and they will be informed immediately.
I might feign mild friendliness, but it is just an act: I am sure that you have been instructed by management to report anyone who acts hostile to you, but I will also be trying to set you up: If you say anything that is sexist, racist, homophobic, politically incorrect, or offensive in any way, shape or form to anyone on the planet, I will file a Rule 32 violation against you. These black marks on your record will follow you everywhere you go in the future. If you are fired from Eagle for these violations, you will not be recalled to AA and there is nothing that APA can do about it, and you won't be able to get a job towing banners. Just because you had the connections or interview skills or demographics to get a job at AA, do NOT pretend for one single moment that your skill as a pilot is superior to mine, or for that matter even remotely comparable. You are a shaved tail amateur compared to the flying I have done. You can expect me to constantly ridicule you abilities, however, the criticism will be unconstructive and designed only to make you feel rotten about yourself, which is something you desperately deserve. You made a serious mistake in opting to come to Eagle. You aren't wanted here.
You will be hated and despised. You will have no friends among Eagle pilots, and we will all endeavor to make your life as miserable as possible.It is only a matter of time before you or one of your ilk turns one of our fine airplanes into a lawn dart. On that tragic day, you can expect every single Eagle FO to become a "Deep Throat" not just for the benefit of the FAA and NTSB, but also for the press and public, creating a scandal that will destroy not just Eagle, but also AMR as a whole. Your coming here has created one of the worst Crew Resource Management problems in aviation history and it is all your fault. Because you have ruined our careers, we have nothing to lose. Eagle has the WORST contract in the business. Through experience, most of us have figured out how to cope with its weak points, but we won't share any of this information with you. Your life will be a living hell. Ours has been for a long time, and your coming here has made it worse, and we will take it out on you.You are not the first to flowback.
Many of those who came before managed to get out of it the only way they could: by activating their reserve commissions. They would rather be shot at in Iraq then continue to work at Eagle: Think about that! You were warned to stay away. You demonstrated incredibly poor judgement in coming anyway. You are my enemy. You will be the scapegoat for all the bad things that have happened at Eagle. It is unlikely you will last long here. We are determined to get you off Eagle property either by getting you canned or driving you to the point where you run screaming off the property. Welcome to
hell.
Do you even work at ENY?
ATTENTION: FLOWBACKS
I am your First Officer. And you worst nightmare. You took my job. I was captain on this airplane, I had a lot of time on it, too, and a lot of other airplanes. I was a great captain with an excellent record, and I have experience in conditions you can scarcely imagine. Your knowledge, training, and experience are trivial compared to mine. But you decided to take my job and career from me. You do know what they call people who take other people's jobs, don't you? The word is scAAb, and you will be treated accordingly. As such, I will do only what is necessary to keep myself from getting killed or violated or fired, but beyond that you are on your own. I am not paid to do IOE, so I won't give you any advice on anything. If I yell MY AIRPLANE real loud, let go, because I am trying to save my life and because you have screwed up. I have no respect for you and I have made it my purpose in life to get you fired. If you break the rules or do something stupid, it will be reported at once. If you break any FARs, I have the FAA on speed dial, and they will be informed immediately.
I might feign mild friendliness, but it is just an act: I am sure that you have been instructed by management to report anyone who acts hostile to you, but I will also be trying to set you up: If you say anything that is sexist, racist, homophobic, politically incorrect, or offensive in any way, shape or form to anyone on the planet, I will file a Rule 32 violation against you. These black marks on your record will follow you everywhere you go in the future. If you are fired from Eagle for these violations, you will not be recalled to AA and there is nothing that APA can do about it, and you won't be able to get a job towing banners. Just because you had the connections or interview skills or demographics to get a job at AA, do NOT pretend for one single moment that your skill as a pilot is superior to mine, or for that matter even remotely comparable. You are a shaved tail amateur compared to the flying I have done. You can expect me to constantly ridicule you abilities, however, the criticism will be unconstructive and designed only to make you feel rotten about yourself, which is something you desperately deserve. You made a serious mistake in opting to come to Eagle. You aren't wanted here.
You will be hated and despised. You will have no friends among Eagle pilots, and we will all endeavor to make your life as miserable as possible.It is only a matter of time before you or one of your ilk turns one of our fine airplanes into a lawn dart. On that tragic day, you can expect every single Eagle FO to become a "Deep Throat" not just for the benefit of the FAA and NTSB, but also for the press and public, creating a scandal that will destroy not just Eagle, but also AMR as a whole. Your coming here has created one of the worst Crew Resource Management problems in aviation history and it is all your fault. Because you have ruined our careers, we have nothing to lose. Eagle has the WORST contract in the business. Through experience, most of us have figured out how to cope with its weak points, but we won't share any of this information with you. Your life will be a living hell. Ours has been for a long time, and your coming here has made it worse, and we will take it out on you.You are not the first to flowback.
Many of those who came before managed to get out of it the only way they could: by activating their reserve commissions. They would rather be shot at in Iraq then continue to work at Eagle: Think about that! You were warned to stay away. You demonstrated incredibly poor judgement in coming anyway. You are my enemy. You will be the scapegoat for all the bad things that have happened at Eagle. It is unlikely you will last long here. We are determined to get you off Eagle property either by getting you canned or driving you to the point where you run screaming off the property. Welcome to
hell.
Do you even work at ENY?
06-17-2019, 02:31 PM
#34
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Sep 2016
Posts: 1,948
Originally Posted by Cyio
Perhaps a touch wordy for a meme.
06-18-2019, 09:52 AM
#35
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Aug 2016
Posts: 195
Originally Posted by DarkSideMoon
That's a good example of what us kids would call a "Copypasta".
06-20-2019, 07:09 AM
#36
Moderator
Joined APC: Sep 2017
Position: MEC Chairman, Snack Basket Committee
Posts: 3,197
Originally Posted by havick206
You really need the Compass guys to weigh in on this thread.
06-20-2019, 07:31 AM
#38
Moderator
Joined APC: Sep 2017
Position: MEC Chairman, Snack Basket Committee
Posts: 3,197
06-20-2019, 08:50 AM
#39
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Feb 2007
Position: Pawn
Posts: 1,138
Originally Posted by BobbyLeeSwagger
