A reincarnated voice from the past with a curiosity of where you all fall on the "spectrum".

pi·lid·i·ot

ˈpielidēət/

noun informal

noun: pilidiot; plural noun: pilidiots
Pilidiots are an unusual, but not uncommon, breed of airline pilot, bestowed with a bizarre, almost arrogant, sense of self-righteousness, self-entitlement and superior intellect. Pilidiots are typically intolerant of the opinions of others and can often be found locking horns or sniffing each others asses while carelessly excreting nonsense on social media sites such as Facebook and Airline Pilot Central, environs where pilidiots seek to enlighten fellow pilidiots through demonstration of their absolute incomprehension of, unawareness of, unconsciousness of, unfamiliarity with, inexperience with, lack of knowledge about, lack of information about, understanding of, or cluelessness about; any subject matter pertinent to their livelihood. Pilidiots often reside within the top 1% of wage earners, an extraordinary statistic considering they commonly lack an integral component required of their occupation — sound decision making — routinely making some of the stupidest, most counter-intuitive decisions known to mankind. Hence, pilidiots have an astonishing ability to stockpile 1st world problems at a rate unheard of since the dawn of the industrial revolution, helping to engineer individual scores on the human misery index that would be described as inconceivable outside of failed nation states such as Burundi or Western Sahara. Given certain limitations — word counts of 100 or less — pilidiots are remarkable consumers of the written word. Nonetheless, pilidiots are often born with or acquire a perplexing inability to truly comprehend the written word. Powerless with coherent written communication, pilidiots gravitate towards mediums more conducive to the spoken word — again with limitations. They operate telephones, but only to the extent necessary to converse with other pilidiots. They can listen but are afflicted with an acute inability to process factual information into auditory signals of which the brain is capable of understanding. Although unproven, it is widely accepted that pilidiots are incapable of comprehending the concepts of reality and fact. Pilidiots are virtuosos in the art of dispensing unsolicited and unfiltered advice on how to handle highly complex and nuanced situations which, when acted upon without thorough consideration of potential negative ramifications, may expose their entire pilot group to a series of injurious implications. The pilidiot commonly clings to an ideological belief that a systematic approach of “carpet-bombing” is the lone elixir to be used for problem solving. Pilidiots presume that broadcasting hastily contemplated, shotgun approaches to problem solving will produce "Eureka" moments for their listeners, when in reality the pilidiot has only confirmed beyond doubt that his future suggestions on strategy and observations on the commercial airline industry should be considered with as much weight as that of a house cat tweaking on methamphetamine. Pilidiots are a needy, entitled and curious sort, believing it to be their God-given right to be “in-the-know.” Amazingly, with 99% of the information they seek available in the public domain, pilidiots wholly claim to be deficient of information, preferring to cast themselves as victims of treacherous plots and schemes — set in motion by union leaders — to deprive them of the information they desire to exist, regardless of whether or not such information actually does exist. Although, for the most part, pilidiots can capably perform actions to retrieve available information for themselves, they prefer and demand to receive knowledge via a spoon or IV drip. Pilidiots are adept at utilizing e-mail spam folders as their chosen filter for critical career-specific information disseminated (a.k.a "spoon fed”) for their benefit by dedicated volunteers and professional employees of their Pilots union. Pilidiots hunger only for the information they want to hear and, in a world of black & white, pilidiots see grey, but often believe their world to be blue or orange. The intellect of a pilidiot can best be described as “poverty-stricken."

A more vocal subset of the pilidiot population is the Pilidiot Royale, a pilidiot who traversed an alternative path to aviation, one set in motion through life skill achievements attained through the bailing of hay, shoveling of cow ****, or sweeping of snow from ski-lift chairs. Often residing in the top 20% of the seniority list at their airline, like a blind squirrel that occasionally stumbles upon a motherload of acorns, these pilidiots staggered into jobs with 3rd rate, start-up airlines, while their peers were busy being hired at major airlines such as Delta, United, and American. Following in the path of fellow ****-shovelers before them, these pilidiots achieved occupational nirvana in record time, exploiting the desperation of pathetic bottom-rung airlines seeking to fill their rosters based on the following qualifications: (1) possession of a pencil recorded logbook and (2) a pulse. Like a random winning lottery ticket winner, pilidiots sometimes find that their insignificant, bush league airline survives to evolve into a 2nd tier airline or, better yet, is acquired by a legitimate, well established carrier, providing a false sense of career achievement, further feeding and entrenching their delusions of self-righteousness, superior intellect and entitlement, helping these pilidiots to ascertain that they have nothing left to achieve for they have risen to the pinnacle of commercial aviation — The Pilidiot Royale!