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Old 02-19-2008, 09:57 PM   #1  
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Default Annoying Airport Personalites

My husband says I resemble one of these!! The nerve. As long as it's not No. 7, I'm ok with it.

From Tripso, by James Wysong:

There I was, in my sixth hour of sitting at Chicago's O'Hare airport, watching another foot of snow fall on the closed runway, getting the caffeine shakes from my third cup of overpriced coffee, listening to an incessant stream of political blabber from the TV screens in the terminal. Seemed like I had two choices: Read the USA Today again or do some people watching. I chose the latter and, taking a good look around, came to a sudden realization: There sure are a lot of annoying people out there.

Of course, flights attendants are among the most annoying people in the airline industry. I know this because I am a flight attendant myself, and I know how we sometimes behave. We shout at you to take your seat when the seat-belt sign is on, but we think nothing of getting up to use the lavatory ourselves. We shrug our shoulders when you complain, wear fixed smiles the entire flight, and threaten to call the authorities if you dare to cop even the slightest attitude. Believe me, we know that we are annoying at times.

But what about these clowns?

1. The line moron
This clueless individual holds up the line through sheer inattention. Here's an example: In a 20-person line at Starbucks, with enough time to memorize the menu, the line moron waits until he gets to the register to begin thinking about what he wants to order. After he changes his mind a couple of times, the people behind him, who desperately need a caffeine jolt, are contemplating strangulation.

2. The stop-and-starters
These folks are guilty of what is called in the airline world "pulling a Christopher Columbus." They are the people who, in a busy airport, feel a need to stop on every whim oblivious to the people walking behind them. Whether it is to check for their passport, window-shop at the novelty store, or look at the departure monitors from 20 yards away, these airport cruisers will come to a sudden and complete stop. Then, as you try to go around them, they start walking again and you have to stop, thus creating a chain reaction of stop-and-go traffic.

3. The hands-free guy
This is the man with the hidden cell-phone device in his ear. When he speaks directly at you, causing you to utter some polite but confused reply, he points to his cell phone and frowns at you as if you are the idiot. This is also the guy who broadcasts unwanted details of his conversation to the entire gate area.

4. The hurry-up-and-wait agent
Your flight is late because of a late inbound aircraft, but when it is finally ready for boarding, the gate agent hurries all the passengers aboard as if they are to blame for the delay. Then the aircraft sits at the gate for 20 minutes while the baggage handlers board all the luggage ... and parcels ... and crated cats and dogs.

5. The security buffoon
This is the person who ignores all the instructions on how to get through security smoothly. He keeps his laptop in his bag when it goes through the X-ray machine, has a liter of water with him, and is surprised when his cell phone goes off in the metal detector. Who suffers? Everyone behind him in line.

6. The boarding bumbler
This is the passenger who, with a hundred people behind him at boarding, decides to stop in the aisle to methodically unpack his bag for every blessed thing he might need during the flight newspaper, earplugs, breath mints, three snacks you name it. And when you try to squeeze past, he fumbles something then grumbles, "I'll just be a minute."

7. The foot-stink neighbor
This is the guy who takes off his shoes in the middle of the flight and, even though he knows that the smell is paralyzing, ignores the stink or even jokes about it. If this happens to you, feel free to either pass the hint to this person or tell a flight attendant. We are not normally the stink patrol, but I have insisted to more than one passenger that if he didn't put his shoes back on, I would have the authorities meet the flight. Same goes for nail polish and products like Vicks VapoRub, Bengay and smelly carry-on food.

8. The water guzzler
Now, we all know that drinking water is very healthy and I encourage everyone to do so. But the passenger I am speaking of drinks several gallons of water in flight, insists on sitting next to the window, and has a bladder the size of a peanut. If this describes you, at least offer to switch seats with the person on the aisle.

9. The sneezer
This is the passenger who sneezes or coughs without covering his mouth. To me this is one of the worst. We all know that sometimes we are forced to travel when we are not 100 percent but, please, let's all practice proper hygiene. I recently flew as a passenger and the person behind me sneezed and coughed the entire time without once covering her mouth even after I turned around and asked her to. By the end of the flight, the back of my head was damp. Needless to say, I caught a cold soon afterwards.

10. The stacker
This passenger stacks all his newspapers, snack wrappers, used Kleenex and empty beverage containers on one meal tray and hands it to the flight attendant. When the mountain of garbage unfolds like an accordion all over the passengers nearby, he looks at the flight attendant like it's her fault.

11. The strategic complainer
This is the passenger who is angling for an upgrade, a free drink or some other sort of compensation. He has a complaint about every aspect of the flight seat size, connecting flights, boarding hassles, air quality, you name it and he won't stop until he gets some kind of freebie. Unfortunately, these people are the ones who often do get compensated, while the kind, patient and courteous passengers don't.

12. The late arrival
This is the passenger who somehow remembers to check in his bags but then forgets about his flight. Gate agents page him at every terminal, and when he does not respond, are forced to remove his bags. The problem is that it takes about 30 minutes to locate luggage in the cargo hold, and the errant passenger usually shows up after 15 minutes. Biggest excuse? "I was in the duty-free shop and lost track of time." Really? You show up three hours prior to departure and it flies by just like that?

I know this list is only the tip of the iceberg and you probably have many more annoying people to add. So speak up: E-mail me someone who really bugs you when you fly. I will update the list and send out a copy of my new book for the best responses.
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Old 02-19-2008, 10:12 PM   #2  
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Haha, Awesome list
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Old 02-19-2008, 10:37 PM   #3  
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1,2 and 5 are my pet peeves!.. dont forget the people that congregate smack in the middle of the concourse, blocking thruway traffic. or the ones that crowd the aisle the second that the plane comes to a stop.. like they're gonna get off the plane any sooner that way.
I once had a very normal-looking businessman type rub his foot against mine. At first I thought he didn't realize he was doing it (maybe didn't realize it was my foot) so I moved my foot away. Farther.. and farther away.. until it was practically climbing the wall, but he kept on following. At that point, it was just obvious he was molesting me.
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Old 02-19-2008, 11:33 PM   #4  
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13. The guy who always spills his drink on the backseat table having it go all over his pants ( thats me haha ) .
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Old 02-20-2008, 01:46 AM   #5  
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1. People sitting behind you who go in front of you getting off the aircraft, then stall you because they had bags in some of the foreward overhead compartments.

2. People who complain about airplanes and how little space there is, or how the airports suck. Or how they hate traveling. Or whatever, I can't stand that. Get over it people it's not that bad.
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Old 02-20-2008, 04:09 AM   #6  
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Guilty of 5 and 6.
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Old 02-20-2008, 07:29 AM   #7  
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Originally Posted by LineTroll View Post
1. People sitting behind you who go in front of you getting off the aircraft, then stall you because they had bags in some of the foreward overhead compartments.

2. People who complain about airplanes and how little space there is, or how the airports suck. Or how they hate traveling. Or whatever, I can't stand that. Get over it people it's not that bad.
I like those, but I hate it when the plane pulls up to the gate, and EVERYONE stands up immediatly, as if the doors are open and we can flood out the door within seconds. I just sit there and wait til the line moves a few seats ahead before I even think of standing up. This same mentality makes me wonder if I'd ever survive an emergency with these people!
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Old 02-20-2008, 08:04 AM   #8  
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14. The Stinker (I was sitting right next to this guy in this example)
This guy is total trash. His baby does its business, so what better thing to do than change his diaper in his own seat!?! The smell proceeds to stink up the entire cabin; excrement spills onto the floor; and even F/As can't walk around to do their duties because of the horrid stench. When you ask him if you can lower the arm-rest (ostensibly to relax, but actually to provide some separation), he asks, "Well, who's gonna use it? Me or you?"

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Old 02-20-2008, 09:48 AM   #9  
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The late arrival is what I most frequently have to deal with as a gate agent.

There have been many occasions where I have had to deny boarding to a passenger who, even though was checked in well soon enough to make the flight with ease, still found it exceedingly difficult for whatever reason to make the 4 minute walk from ticket counter to the gate in time to make the flight.

And as predicted, these people become very upset, sometimes to the point of swearing at me and cursing me. I make it very simple for them. I have them pull out their ticket jacket and I open it up and show them the inside and point out the very explicitly explained contract of carriage that details all of the reasons why he or she was denied boarding.

Sometimes this shuts them up and they storm off with their tail between their legs.

Other times I have to go on to explain that this information is readily available on our website and is also posted on signage at the ticket counters.

A new one to add to the list would be the liar. I can't tell you how many times passengers try to lie to me about one thing or another in an effort to take little to no responsibility for their own actions that caused them their inconvenience. And these are ADULTS!!
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Old 02-20-2008, 11:19 AM   #10  
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1. Armchair Quarterbacks of flying (aka the people who know more about flying than everyone else) for instance two people sitting in front of me insisted that the airplane would go no higher than 8000ft (737 pit to lga)
***Same type of people you hate to listen to at an airshow cause the formation of f18s is definitely... has to be a fx-189 (enter random airplane here haha)

2. The Delay Complainer (aka the person as soon as ANY delay for ANY reason feels the need to swear and get on the cellphone instantly even for a 5 - 10 minute atc delay) These people would complain if an engine was falling off and they couldn't hit their eta time

3. And as said before - everyone rushes to stand up as soon as the airplane stops then no one moves for 20 minutes
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