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We had just coasted in off the NAT track and were talking to Moncton Center. We were getting light to moderate turbulence and asked for ride reports. The controller asked us if we knew who was on Aer Lingus Flight 001 that was about 100 miles ahead of us. We were a little confused and replied that we did not. He told us it was the Pope on his way to Boston and if he couldn't get a smooth ride why did we think we would have any better luck. Hung on at 350 and rode it out.
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This happened to me yesterday.
Me: Paine ground, Cessna xxxxx, central ramp, east bound with hotel. ..... ..... Did she forget about us? (To the other guy in the cockpit) The PTT is slightly askew... Unknown: uck mic. Ground: I didn't forget about you. Cessna xxxxx taxi to 16L via Golf. |
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From AvWeb - Monday, 12 Jan '15
Saturday, December 6, approximately 18:00 local time, I am sitting on the ramp at KTMB waiting on an IFR clearance. Here is the conversation I hear: N1234: "Tamiami Ground, N1234 at T hangar, ready for taxi." KTMB Ground: "N1234, I don't see you. Taxi up to and hold short of taxiway E." [pause] KTMB Ground: "N1234, I see you now. Confirm you are a flight of two." N1234: "Affirmative. I am a flight of two." KTMB Ground: "N1234, taxi E to 9R; cleared to cross 31." N1234: "N1234 taxiing E to 9R. Cleared to cross 31." KTMB Ground: "N1234, I confirm you are a flight of two." N1234: "Affirmative. I am a flight of two." KTMB Ground: "N1234, I only see one of you." N1234: "Of course you only see one. My cabin windows are tinted. There are two of us in here." KTMB Ground: "N1234, 'a flight of two' means there are two aircraft." N1234: "How could I fly two planes?" KTMB Ground: "N1234, 'a flight of two' means there are two aircraft and one pilot is talking for both aircraft." N1234: "No. There is just my plane, with two people inside." KTMB Ground: "N1234, you should have filed 'two souls on board' and not put 'flight of two' in the remarks. I will adjust your flight plan." N1234: "Sorry. Thanks." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jeff Mayerle |
O'hare
On approach to ORD very busy airspace, night, 25 years ago: AA XX Heavy (DC-10) turn right 180, slow to 210kts - Roger 180, 210
AAxx heavy turn right 270, slow to 190 - 270, 190 speed AAxx heavy AAxx heavy turn left 140 slow to 160 - Different voice (Capt) Approach AAxx heavy do you know what speed this aircraft stalls at........ ATC: No I don't, but if you ask the guy next to you I bet he knows Silence....... |
Last weekend, heard on MSN approach/departure.
Cessna: madison departure, cessna xxxxx 1800 climbing 3,000, runway heading MSN app/dep: cessna xxxxx, climb and maintain 5,000, say on course heading Cessna: cessna xxxxx climb and maintain 5,000, stay on course heading.... MSN departure: cessna xxxx, SAY on course heading. Cessna xxxx: cessna xxxx, i am on course now.... (Mic keys, then silence...) likely msn approach just taking the highroad. Haha It took all my self control to not call this dumbass out on air... Also, i think this may have been a light sport of some kind, might not have been a cessna |
Flying around in UAE air space, copilot swears the controller used to work Houston Center, so I dare him to ask, and he does
Co-pilot: Did you by chance work Houston Center UAE: No but I did work Denver back in the 80s ME: No kidding, did you know a guy there named Billy B? UAE: Yes I remember him Me: That's my dad UAE: Wow I feel old, thanks! |
Urban Legend:
Center: "United XXX, have you captured the Localizer?" United XXX: "No but we have him surrounded!" |
At Dca about a month or so ago :
Grnd : brickyard xxxx do you have both running ? RPa xxxx : we have both of them running and a flight attendant running Grnd : (chuckles ) let me know when you are ready to taxi |
During the last "blood moon" event, I was working ORD departures at about 0530. RPA asked for a 30 degree deviation so the FA could see the moon.
I approved the request, and he responded, "if you knew what she looked like, you'd understand." I assured him that I understood completely. I hope that it worked in his favor, too. |
We were flying out of Dallas and heard a Sout West pilot say reference the turbulence as causing white-caps in his coffee... Then ATC used it again to describe the turbulence to other pilots!
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Last summer i was flying down around southeast Georgia somewhere, on center and heard a flight of two T6's doing some training off the coast. Two actually asked for vectors to his lead, and the confused/agitated controller actually responded with: "your asking me for vectors to your wingman??!! I thought you were a flight of two its your job to keep up with him all i see is the two returns right on top of each other!"
It was all i could do to not key the mike and play Dos Gringos "two is blind" from my phone into the mike. |
On SFO ground a few months ago during rush hour, for a solid 2 minutes everybody on the frequency was stepping on each other. Nobody could get a word in and someone would always chime in and say "blocked."
Ground was in a bad mood and having none of it. The frustrated controller lashed out "You guys need to stop saying blocked, it just eats up the frequency. Stop talking, if I don't hear a response I will assume I was blocked and make the call again. Just stop saying blocked." As if on cue, several airplanes all radioed in "blocked." CA and I laughed our assess off. Perfect comedic timing |
Arriving in CLT and talking to ramp to get clearance to our gate:
Me: Ramp BYxxxx R for C5 Ramp: BYxxxx let the Steelers bus pass left to right, taxi to gate C5 Me: OK give way to the ugly bus then to the gate BYxxxx Bus: hey, hey, hey! Me: Sorry I couldn't resist Bus: yeah I feel the same way Me: I feel bad you have to fly it Bus: well at least I don't have to look at it Me: touché |
Just the other day on a C-17 we had decided to change our destination from Gander to McGuire due to the wx. Well the pilot was getting an upgrade evaluation so he decided to find an entire route at a certain point about 20 minutes away to our new destination. He planned it all out like he was doing a flight plan. Meanwhile, I was thinking wow...this seems so unnecessary, she'll probably give him direct! He then briefs the crew and I told him "watch her give you direct after all that work." I felt pretty confident this would happen because while I am just a loadmaster on the jet, I also fly plenty myself....so this is how it went down!
C-17: Center Reach 192 would like to file a to a new destination. Cleveland center: Reach 192 roger whats your new destination? C-17: Reach 192 is a C-17, we are a /G.....blah blah....4 hours fuel and we want to go to WRI we have a route for you if you'd like it...? C.C.: Reach 192, (Laughing as she keyed the mic) whats your new destination? C-17: KWRI is our new destination C.C.: Roger, and uhh, what's this route you would like? C-17: Yes from XXX Vor J-XXX-VOR-JXXX VOR......you get the picture C.C. umm....reach 192 can you give me a shorter maybe easier route? C-17: Uhh sure one moment please Me: (Watch she's gonna give us direct!) C.C: (1 min later) Reach 192, im gonna make this easy for you... cleared direct WRI C-17: Roger cleared direct WRI I couldn't stop laughing! So much work, for no reason! |
I have a decent one. I was heading back into GFK on Halloween with my instructor, I tuned into ATIS and it reads ," wind xx from xx temp xx dewpoint xx blah blah blah.. for further instructions contact...., advise on initial contact you have candy." I had to call up approach with "Sioux22 inbound with candy." We got a good laugh listening to everyone crack jokes all the way in on frequency, the controllers were loving it!
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Flying from STL-EWR, we were assigned the Williamsport arrival.
Once we got to altitude I asked the Captain to see if he could get direct SLT. He keyed up: "Acey1234 requesting direct destination." The confused controller replied "Did you just ask for direct Newark" Captain replied "yes, just trying to be optimistic, but we'll take Slate Run instead" Controller "yeahhhhh, that's not gonna happen either" |
Originally Posted by infiniti757
(Post 14367)
Back in 1997 i heard a Gulfstream pilot get the phone number from the tower controller for a date. They'd been flirting for a few weeks over the radio.
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One weekend in Southern California this happened:
Socal: Cessna 123, climb and maintain 3,000, proceed direct Paradise (VOR) Cessna 123 (foreign accent): 3,000 direct to Paradise *Pause* Socal: Cessna 123, you're going off altitude and course. Proceed direct Paradise, maintain 3,000. Cessna 123: Direct Paradise. *Pause* Socal: Cessna 123, I'm still showing you off course. Forget the altitude and proceed direct Paradise. Cessna 123: Direct Paradise. *Pause* Socal: Cessna 123, you're still off course, turn to heading 120, vectors to Paradise. Cessna 123: Heading 120. Me: Socal, I don't know about you, but I've got 2 tickets to Paradise... Socal: To the airman that mentioned having 2 tickets to paradise, good job. The whole room is now singing that song. |
Originally Posted by FlytheSky
(Post 1865088)
Socal: Cessna 123, climb and maintain 3,000, proceed direct Paradise (VOR)
Cessna 123 (foreign accent): 3,000 direct to Paradise Depending on the source of the foreign accent, telling certain folks to go direct "Paradise" might have some unintended consequences. :eek: Yoke - full forward: "Oh...thank you, Socal! Virgins, here I come!" |
Fortunately, the accent was Chinese and did not sound like they had any ill will, but just general confusion. There's many foreign students training in the LA basin.
Another one, heard on the LA CTAF while an apartment complex and a fire helicopter had responded: "You know, it works best if you put the water *on* the fire..." |
While monitoring 123.45 over northern Alabama today, heard this funny sequence.
pilot one: Kitty Kitty pilot two: Meow pilot two: What are you in? pilot one: your ex-girlfriend |
^^^ Haha that's awesome.
Was flying in an area where controllers occasionally call traffic "targets." App: Cessna 123, traffic, the target is at 1 'o clock and 5 miles Cessna: Cessna 123 has target in sight Unknown AC: Too close for missiles, switching to guns! Another one when I was working for 9k Fellow Aircraft, on Company: Cair XX, say airspeed Me, on App: Yeah Cair XX, we're still climbing so ah.. uh... wait, was that approach? Approach: Um... what? Me: Uh disregard... *Sniggering and several d'ohs on Company* |
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