Stories from the jump seat
 

The good, the bad, and the ugly

Thought this might be a fun thread to start.

Feel free to post some stories you've had jump seating.

As I was a young regional guy about x-number of years ago commuting on a mainline aircraft...
FO on the Airbus was chatting to me about how excited he was about getting his new personalized license plates coming for his new car.

You have to take in to perspective on how he loathed 'the Bus' and wished he could be back flying a 727.
He wrote down his new personalized plates for me on ACARS paper during this discussion.

It read (and I sheet you not)...

"3HOLER"

I cannot imagine the looks his wife got while she drove his car.

Years ago, new regional FO, commuting transcon after a trip on a L-US bus...

It's Friday evening...

CA: So, you on your way home?
Me: Yup
CA: Been at work for a while?
Me: Couple weeks.
CA: Got a wife or GF?
Me: Yes, wife.
CA: Gonna hit the town when we get in?
Me: Yeah, she's gonna pick me up, then going out.
CA: Well, then we better get you in the right frame mind...

Out comes the tray table, the laptop, and the DVD collection of classic 70's porn.

A little long but..........
 

Jumpseating home to STL from ORD. I manage to get the last j/s on the last TWA 727 departure of the night. Every seat full in the back, standard 3-man crew up front with an AA guy and me in the tandem jumpseats behind the Captain. The crew welcomed me on board and I thanked them. The Captain was the typical old school 727 guy who'd been flying the old girl since disco reigned supreme and had no plans to change prior to retirement.

I was still a pretty new 727 FE at UAL. Since I was the last jumpseater to show, I had to sit directly behind the Captain. The seat was more elevated than the one behind me, less comfortable, less legroom and gave me a bird's eye view of the pilot's domain as well as the FE's panel. I spent some time marveling at the slightly more antiquated version of the FE panel currently in use at TWA but most of it was familiar. I had a chance to chat with the FE who had been in his current position a few years.

Ground ops were basically familiar and routine. The only thing of note was the 20 knot direct crosswind we were all launching into off runway 22L. This would become a major factor in the takeoff roll to come.

Before we go there, some additional info about the venerable 727 is in order. The number 2 center engine intake was called the "S-duct". This was the result of the intake being situated above the fuselage with the actual engine located well below the intake buried inside the center of the fuselage. The air entering the intake initially traveled straight aft followed by a turn downward and another turn back aft to hit the compressor. The air duct formed the approximate shape of a "S" (if viewed from the right side), hence the name.

It was common knowledge among 727 operators that the #2 engine did not take kindly to disrupted airflow down the S-duct at low speeds. The most common source of such disruption was a cross-wind. As the power came up and the hungry JT8D engines started sucking air down that serpentine path, the turbulent cross-wind combined with the less than optimum routing for the air could produce some spectacular compressor stalls.

The normal technique to combat this problem was called "dragging #2". Simply put, this meant increasing power on the #1 and #3 engines that did not have an S-duct while leaving #2 at idle. As the takeoff roll began and ground speed increased, the airflow down the S-duct would also increase and by 20 to 30 knots, the cross-wind effects were negated. Takeoff power could then be brought up on #2 to match the other engines and the threat of compressor stalls was diminished or often completely eliminated.

So, as a fully trained 727 FE, I was expecting to see some version of this procedure as we were cleared for takeoff from a dead start after holding in position. That did not happen and the fun began.

Perhaps it was a case of "last-leg-get-home-itis" or maybe "let's get dafuq outta here now", our crusty Captain cobbed the power up on all three engines simultaneously. A second later we were treated to the first of at least 3 spectacular compressor stalls that were audible all the way at our end of the jet. On the second "ka-pow", the engine failure light flickered, came on and then went out. The FO stated "engine failure" as procedure required just as the light was going out and "KA-BAM" number three was heard.

Another minor systems diversion is required. On the mighty, but somewhat thrust deficient 727-200, the auto-pack trip system had been installed to provide maximum thrust in the event of engine failure on takeoff. It was armed by the FE prior to takeoff and would automatically shut down both air-conditioning packs if thrust loss was sensed on any engine. This would halt any diversion of bleed air off the engines to run the packs and keep all the thrusties going out the back of the good engines for optimum takeoff performance.

So, back on our takeoff roll..... as we enjoyed our threesome of compressor stalls, the momentary loss of thrust on #2 which caused the illumination of the engine fail light had also dutifully signaled the auto-pack trip system to work as well.

About the time the air rush from the now dormant packs became non-existent, the Captain had figured out the #2 engine had not failed, was in fact delivering thrust and his forward panel looked normal, so he decided we were going flying. "It's fine!..... just the cross-wind.....we're going!"

Our speed now built past the maybe 10 knots we had attained as all this was happening. I looked over at the FE’s panel and noted a bunch of abnormal lights, including two tripped packs, at least one main generator off line and the cabin climb rate needle swinging to zero. About the time the Captain said, “We’re going!”, my head involuntarily tilted sideways as I did my best impression of a pig looking at a wrist watch. I'm pretty sure I remember hoping the other FE knew what to do. He paused for a moment and our eyes met for a second as he came to the realization that the train was leaving the station. He then got the “Holy sh!t, I gotta do some stuff fast” look and his hands flew across the panel in expert fashion returning it to normal ops in record time.


The biggest indicator he had been successful was the pack lights going out, the cabin rate needle making an audible “sproinnnnnggg” as it reversed directions and went to infinity as most of the air in the Chicagoland area was pumped into our jet in the span of about 2 seconds. Anyone with a free hand was pinching the crap out of their nose in a herculean effort to Valsalva fast enough to save our eardrums.


Sometime between second “Ka-Bang!” and “We’re going!” the FA call chimes from the back of the airplane started and continued for most of the takeoff roll. Once the packs started blowing our eardrums out, we couldn’t hear them or much of anything else and I’m pretty sure the FO had to hit the Captain on the arm and mouth the word “rotate” when it was time.


Things calmed down pretty quickly once we got airborne. I gave a thumbs up to the obviously competent FE and turned around to look at the other jumpseater. He simply shook his head and mouthed “What the fook” (or something similar). At the top of climb, the crew took a moment to discuss the event. Try as he may, I don’t think the FO was able to get the Captain to agree that maybe they should have rejected while they were still at about 4.6 knots. I couldn’t help myself and I managed to politely inquire about the possibility of “dragging #2” with such a cross-wind. The Captain replied, “Yeah, I’ve heard of that but I don’t like to do it. If I’m going to have a problem with an engine on takeoff, I want to know as soon as possible.”


Of course, I wanted to immediately respond by saying “Why would knowing sooner matter if you’re going to ignore the warning lights, FO call-outs and takeoff regardless?” But, I managed to bite my tongue as I pondered this logic, probably with the same look I had when the FE’s panel lit up like a Christmas tree. The rest of the flight involved calming the FAs via interphone, especially the one sitting under #2 who apparently was ready to raid the liquor cart by top of climb.


It wasn’t my first or last jumpseat with TWA, but I can safely say it was the most eventful by far.

You win TL;DR of the century.

Good one Adler. Riding the jumpseat you must keep your mouth shut.
Once I was in the Flying Tiger JS taxing around SJU in a 747-200.
I knew the airport quite well and watched the Captain taxi the wrong direction on the wrong taxi way but could not speak up and be a back-seat driver. (No RWY incursion going on)
I did help out when they got really lost, but felt bad giving advise to God. (I was a lowly Twin Otter driver then and was not going to give flying lessons to the Tiger guys. Before CRM)

Another time, Pan Am 747-200 jumpseat.
Cleared to push and parking brake released before the INS switches was in the right position. I looked up and started moving my lips to say something, then the tug pushed us back, then 3 warning lights came on and we had to stop and start the INS operation over again, 15 minutes minimum.
We have all been there, done that and if I had said something sooner or faster, we would have arrived sooner.

A few years later I was also Captain on the old 747s and wish I had a jump seat guy who would shout INS before we pushed.. :rolleyes:

E175 jumpseat out of EWR we line up on 04L. Cleared for takeoff, the power goes up and just as it is set, there is a somewhat loud crashing noise behind us. I see an orb of light behind me (jumpseat locked and I'm obviously strapped in), it's clear that the FD door has swung open. The crew is aware and continue. We're rolling so I reach back while still belted and grab the knob and start to pull it to the close position. It was awkward in that I had no leverage, and probably looked like a contortionist with the arm looking like it was twisted in a way that shouldn't be. I bring the door to close but there is nothing to suggest it clicked or locked, so I'm still holding it as we accelerate. We rotate and of course the weight equation shifts straight back. Now I'm straining to hold the door in that awkward position with no leverage. About 700-800agl I quietly stated that I can't hold this. At 1000agl the CA asked if I had it in the closed position and I said yes. He pushed a button and then said I could let it go; at that point the door was locked.

I could imagine the NTSB hearing that on the CVR lulz :D

I junpseated on delta flight a while back....

These two guys were having some strange contest to see who's kid was smarter.

It began with SAT scores.
It progressed to ACT scores.
Of course, it hit all the GPA highlights for each year in high school.

I couldn't decide whether it was more funny or sad.

I thought they were gonna Rochambeau to break the tie.

On a Continental 737 jump seat in 2007. I was a brand new FO that came from flying cargo. It was probably my first or second time ever riding in a jump seat and I was still pretty clueless. The Captain was a Texas good ol boy, complete with $#!t kickers and his FFDO weapon. As soon as the door closed, he took his pistol out of his bag, slammed it on the glare shield, turned around and said " Dick, do you know what a rodeo f#¢% is?" Evidently he had just heard of this practice and wanted to know if it was a real thing. He turned out to be a funny dude, but had me planning my escape at the beginning.

Ive done this at least three times in various airframes. MD-80 was the worst in my experience.

Popping my jumpseat cherry
 

I flew for a small freight carrier and decided to use the jumpseat privilege for the first time to go to Anchorage to visit a buddy. On a 747-4 cargo version, sitting in one of the 4 seats in the bubble for takeoff. All of the seats were occupied by pilots of that airline heading to ANC for work. I introduced myself before takeoff and got settled in for the 6.5hr flight. After takeoff, I must have dozed off. It was about 3am. All of the sudden I hear the chime and all of the lights come up in the cabin. As if in a dream, I see all of the guys stand up and they start unbuttoning their shirts and taking off their pants!! I must have had a very confused/scared look on my face because one of the pilots asks me if this is my first time? I'm only able to shake my head, he laughs as does the others, and says well then you get to eat the cookie! He then quickly explains they are changing into more comfortable clothes for the long flight. I was super embarrassed by my naïveté but also laughed my butt off.
After the FO had changed, the Captain came back and asked how we were all doing. He was this 6 foot 7" tall, built like a body builder African American. He heads into the lav with a bag. About 5 minutes later, he walks out wearing red silk pants, red silk long sleeve button down shirt, and a long red cap that hung down to his waist with a white cotton ball at the end. We all busted up laughing. He smiled, gave us a wave like Forrest Gump and headed back to his throne. I fell in love with freight operations after that!

Great stories, Alder & Oracle. I like this thread; reading APC often makes me wince, but you had me laughing out loud! :D

Don't worry, soon someone will mention facial hair, a contentious merger, or god forbid, strobe light policy and APC will return to normal.

Good one!

Very nice!!

When did Shaft upgrade to 74 Captain?!?!

Early 90's I requested a JS on a Spirit DC9 from PHL-MCO. As I locked & loaded into the stirrups, the crusty Captain handed me the High Chart & asked me if I would highlight the route to MCO. No problem....then after liftoff, he fired up a chain smoke that continued for the next two hours to MCO. After reaching cruise, he then asked me to update a Jepp revision he had in his bag. Last JS I requested on Spirit...[emoji51]


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

United A320 jumpseat DEN - SFO about eight years ago:

Get to cruise, 45-year-old-ish captain turns around and says, "So who do you work for?"

"Air Wisconsin."

"Never heard of them."

"Really? We flew for you for the last thirty years. We are literally the first code-share in history, United and Air Wisconsin. Until recently, United even owned us."

"Nope. Never heard of them. And I don't get it, why do you work there?"

"What?"

"I mean, why don't you just work here? I don't get why you guys go work at these no-name places."

"I'm sorry, are you serious?" I look at the FO who mouths I'm sorry.

This degrades into my needing to explain that there is a thing called the regional airline industry thanks to something called scope, and not all of us were so fortunate to get hired at United at age 23.

She never did get it.

the Mack Attack? He was infamous :D

Js to bkk on UAL long time ago. Capt tells us as we get off the plane....make sure you double bag it.

Approx 20 years ago, United 737 SMF-LAX. Middle of flight CA looks over at FO and asks him if he had recorded something in the logbook. He tells her something to the effect that he thought she did already. She then points to her boards and condescendingly tell him that is his job, not hers.
Poor guy, didn't say another word and sitting in the middle of that made for awkward conversation.

Probably sage advice.

Ages ago when I was commuting from DFW-SJU.
I would ride with UPS via SDF. Getting to DFW around 8pm for the 8:45 A300 flight the Jumpseat lady is all worked up saying she was trying to find me cause they had to take away my jumpseat for some UPS DH's but there was room on the 8:10 dept on the 747.

We storm out of the office into the van and out to the plane. I drop my crap at the bottom of the stairs, run up to the main cargo deck and round the corner for the stairs up to the cockpit. Manage my way up find the Capt all strapped in and ready to push. Asked for a ride and he says "absolutely your you better hurry and tie up you bags down stairs.

So I scream down the ladder from the cockpit and down to the ground. Snagged my bags and hurddled up the stairs into the nose forward of the cargo bins to tie up my bags. Just as I was pulling the knot on my kit bag, there was a pronounced slam of the door to the cockpit closing and the lights went out.

Now the state of darkness in that cargo deck was only rivaled by the darkness before God created the sun. As I mimed my way around the cargo bins we started pushing back. After a few mins of wrastling my way around the bins and half way up the ladder.....the cockpit door opens and shines down the face of the FE with a "Sorry bout that!!"
One of the other Jumpseaters had tipped off the FE that there was "that other jumpseater" still down there.

I was thinking about how much of that cargo deck I could explore in the dark between DFW and SDF

This thread is great.

Jumpseating on UAL years back when I was a young and very new to the industry. Get my boarding pass and head down near the end of boarding. I'm standing in the jetway about to walk on the aircraft, and just as I'm midstride I hear a scream "WAIT!!!" And look up to see the captain moving towards me with his hands outstretched. I thought I did something aggregious and literally stopped with my foot halfway down, mouth agape. The captain walks right up to me, bends down and grabs a penny off the ground right under my barely lifted foot. He holds it up to my face and says "son, that was a heads, you're never going to make it in this business"



Another one: my favorite brieifing as I occupy the Jumpseat commuting to work one week. I introduce myself and settle in. The captain finishes his brief and looks back and me and asks if I've been up front in this type before. I answer yes, to which he responds "ok well then you know the drill. If you see anything you don't like, I expect you to keep your mouth shut and die like a man"

Since CBreezy has a millennial's attention span, I'll try to keep this one shorter. ;)

Not my personal story, but passed on from a bud a few years back......

727 with a crew that's been flying together all month long on the same line. My friend is in the back jumpseat ready to go. It becomes apparent that the A-flight attendant (40 years seniority.... cat lover.... hasn't smiled at work since summer of '69) has pushed the pilots past the edge over the last few trips. Revenge has been plotted.

She calls to bring up breakfast. Once delivered, the Captain takes a serious tone and informs her of a hydraulic problem. Prior to her arrival, the FE has turned off the electric hyd-B pumps resulting in some warning lights. The Captain points out the lights as evidence of the problem. He then says it's probably best if he just shows her the problem......

He asks her to move over to the left side of the flight deck near the side wall. As she does, he uses control wheel steering with his knees via the autopilot while he and the FO's hands are no where near the controls to have the aircraft begin to bank to the left. "Whoa, Whoa, ok... move back to the center", he says with some urgency (bringing the jet back to wings level with his knee again).

"Ok, so you see what we've got going on..... We're ok to continue to Denver, but we're going to need to you the stay in the center of the jet. The FO and I balance, the SO and the jumpseater balance. The FAs in the back will be working the aisle, so they're in the middle. You're the only one who may throw this thing off. Just keep to the middle of the aircraft and we'll be fine. She leaves looking concerned but ready to help.

As soon as she does, the FE is up looking through the peephole in the door. He points left or right as required watching the "A's" movements while the Captain banks the aircraft to match them. She does her entire service holding the galley divider wall and leaning in with her feet on centerline reaching for drinks and trays.

They never told her....... (probably a good idea). :D

Absolutely classic creativity to enact sweet revenge on the cat lady!

I got a similar briefing recently, but I wouldn't call it my favorite. Jumpseating on a company aircraft recently, I got the usual, "If you see something, say something" briefing from the captain. And generally, people actually mean it, because our main goal is to get the job done and stay out of trouble, particularly since we fly plenty of nights and are often tired. He ended the briefing with, "Of course, we can tell you to shut the f... up!" and laughed hysterically.

Umm....he obviously doesn't know me. It's impossible for me to shut the f... up if I see something going wrong. And I would ALWAYS want my jumpseaters to speak up if they saw something concerning. These are not the old days.

Dude...lighten up. :rolleyes: He started laughing after he said it because it was a joke. Just like the guy in Sheddy's story.

Actually, I'm pretty laid back and all for a good laugh, but if you were there, you would realize it was not a joke. Uncomfortable....:eek: The fo didn't say a word and didn't even smile. I recognize a joke, and this comment was said with venom.

Couple years ago I was riding on a B6 320 from DEN-BOS (I was working for B6 at the time). It was a fairly senior crew; both 40ish to 50ish years old male Capt and female FO.
We were chatting, having a good time...The female FO had mentioned her "partner" or "spouse" numerous times, but not the partner's sex. Finally I ask, "what does he or she do?"
She turns to face me and says "What do I look like, a dike?! I know my hair is short, but come on!" She then started laughing hysterically; then we all did.
That's what I get for trying to be politically correct and not assume a sexual preference. We laughed about it for 100 miles.

Years ago in the DL jumpseat, me a lowly turboprop F/O.
We level off and Cpt Crusty turns around and points to a big book, 'grab that book will you',
Ok here you go Capt. Capt lays in down in my lap and says 'teach me something' I thought he was kidding, nope he's serious.
So we learned about the 737 flaps that day.

I've seen that technique in the military, both in fighters and in the UPT world. Last time I saw it widely used was in a UPT instructor training course, where the PIT instructors were having the instructor trainees both learn something and practice their instructional technique. Plus the PIT IP got a quick refresher, and sometimes they dug up something unusual that led down another instructional path.

Me and the FO raced to the gate to JS home on an Ozark DC-9. Gate agent hurries us down the jetway to find it retracted about 3 feet from the cabin door. Agent apologizes just as the cabin door opens again and the Captain slides open his window, leans out, and says, "Jump for it. You can make it ." And we did.

Got the second jumpseat on a CAL 737 about 15 years ago. Doors closed. Jetway pulled back. It was a madhouse getting settled down but as we finally got things calmed down and I sat down, we realized the airplane didn't actually have a second jumpseat. Call the jetway back, disarm the doors, get off the plane. That was a bit of a walk of shame in front of the FC passengers.

Good old greenies. (For you younger folks, the Ozark colors were green on white). Used to fly a lot of 'milk can runs' up and down the Mississippi River. Minneapolis to St. Louis was a 4 stop (or was it 5?) trip. Every small town (now EAS) dropped 3 or 4 passengers. Picked up 8-10. 15 minute turns, if things worked well.

Made money. DC-9 was about the biggest. Barnstorming. All manual flying. Take off to landing in about 20 minutes. Ah, those were the days! Miss them? Not so much!:D

And those were the -9 routes! How 'bout the FH-227 ones?

GF

One of my first Southwest jumpseat rides back during my cargo days before 9/11, I'm sitting up front. The captain and FO are passing titty pics back and forth... I'm thinking damn, these guys have some cojones, I hope the FA doesn't see them. Now the A flight attendant was absolutely gorgeous... she comes up to see if we want something to drink, and here I am thinking "Oh crap!! BUSTED!!!" The captain merely passes her the picture and asks her what she thinks? She looks at the picture, checks her own and says "Mine are better... I'll prove it to you at the bar tonight." Different times....

They generally landed on paved county roads. Of course, you had to observe stop signs where two county roads crossed. Those county deputy sheriff tickets for failure to come to a complete stop were a b**ch to explain. jk ;)

Yeah it is a great technique....
in FLIGHT SCHOOL.

In the jumpseat it is pure condescension.

UAL Captain delayed his 74, 25 minutes to make sure my family and I got on. We were going home to say goodbye to a sick parent and I won't ever forget the kindness him and his crew showed us.