Overheard on the crew van
 

Figured it's been a long time since there was a halfway-humorous thread on APC (whatever happened to 'Tool of the Day'?) So thought I'd start one. Weird Crew Van Ride of the day comes courtesy of an FA for a legacy carrier who shall of course remain unnamed. To quote this individual directly (and I assure you, this person was absolutely serious):

"Did you hear? The US is going to annex Canada any day now. Not many people know about it."

Followed two minutes later by

"Did you know the US government is bankrupt and that they're going to take away all our paper money? It's all going to be digital. They started working on this when Nixon was President but it's all going to happen next month. But you only get a dollar of digital money for every ten dollars of real money you have. It's not going to be the dollar anymore, either, it's going to be a new currency controlled by the UN."

And a minute after that by

"Biden isn't really President. Trump is still the President, he's just running everything from Mar-a-Lago."

(I really, really, really wish I was kidding, or that this individual was kidding, but I'm not. This transpired yesterday on the van.)

Post your own stories!

“67 is coming”

Critics panned that movie but I loved it. Been a while since I’ve seen it, may have to go back and watch it again.

Right about here I knew where this was going. I mean we have some real dozies on our side of the door but sometimes I wonder what the education level is of many FAs.

My favorite was the one who was concerned I was a terrorist and activated the "terrorist contingency plans" when I offered to help fix a door latch. Commuting from Japan "in uniform" no less. I kid you not, I stopped by the fore galley because a 1st class pax complained they couldn't close the little door to their "suite". I was in uniform standing in line for the bathroom, so they asked me for help. When I spoke with the lead FA in the front galley she grew concerned that a pilot "in uniform" who earlier she let up into the flight deck to check in with the Captain was asking questions about how to close a 1st class passenger door on the little half height cubical. Somehow she jumped to the conclusion that a pilot in uniform asking about a little door latch on a passenger seat in first class equated to an attempted hijack.

I went to the bathroom on my way back to my seat. When I came out the front galley was barred with drink carts and I was "escorted" to my seat.

It's not rolling coal level of stupid but its pretty high up there.

That part is true. The position being that there is to much money being exchanged that is untaxed. Think of all the ‘cash’ transactions that go unreported. Not saying I agree, but that’s the drift.

OK so...she pulled out her phone and proudly showed me the designs for the new US digital currency. Which she swore were 100% accurate and final.

Except the site she used was Behance (a site for commercial artists to showcase their portfolios) and the 'final designs' were from a student art project.

I gently pointed this out, but you can guess how that went.

The one tiny kernel of "truth" in her rabbit-hole story was that, under Nixon, the US began the process of leaving the gold standard. Which some, at the time, equated to the global monetary system collapsing. 50 years later, here we are.

My main problem, though, is that I even attempt to process these things rationally. When someone comes out with the 'super secret fact' that we're invading Canada tomorrow -- I mean you just can't reason with someone like that.

I did offer to hold all her paper money for her, since it was now worthless...

OMG. Was this on a US carrier? Please tell me that DHS did not meet you at the arrival gate. Wow. Just wow.

Yes, one of the legacies that flies to Japan. Not hard to figure out from there.

It was a non event after I was "escorted" to my seat. I sat in my seat for the remaining 6 or so hours and slept. When I got off the plane she wished me good luck catching my connecting flight (When I had originally come on board she and I had discussed the short window between my flights while I was waiting for the Captain to finish his brief before interrupting). I never heard a thing from anyone beyond her extreme overreaction to my attempt to "be a good guy" and help a fellow industry employee out. I'll never do that again!

I am hopeful she felt like an utter fool in front of her crew. But I doubt it.

That won't fix "in kind" transactions, but I guess it would make it easier to track the raw materials say if a plumber and carpenter swap projects on each other's houses.

But I'm sure some sort of alternate currency would evolve... maybe even just handshake deals in trusting circles. In some parts of the world that's still a thing for some banking/financial activity.