if
 

your wife calls you by your callsign at a social gatherings to get your attention...

you've spent more time debriefing than planning, briefing, stepping, and flying, combined

you think jalapeño popcorn is delicious

you've come home with red, green, blue, and black marker stains on your hands

(or for you Eagle FWIC bubbas) ...you came home with multicolored chalk dust all over your bag

You are unable to tallk about flying while sitting on your hands...
You own a name tag that says you are "Heywood Jablowme"...
You are physically unable to say words like box and head...

USN and USMC types need not apply. We don't subscribe to your PCness.

And jalapeno popcorn IS delicious.

Mary Ann Burns is the girl for you...

if...
 

...you refuse to watch American Idol until they feature Dos Gringos and Dick Jonas.

Think you mean S-3. S-2 had radial engines, definitely not a Hoover.

your kids all knew (and enforced) the rules of "no slugs" before they were three.

You tell your kids to "knock it off," and they respond

"1 Knock it off!"
"2 Knock it off!"
"3 Knock it off!"
...

Both so true... a half dozen years since I retired and she still does it, even around our civilian friends. I'm just glad my callsign was something benign and not something like "Butthead".