Defecation on the Flight Deck
 

We had a poor soul at my last gig who had a sudden case of sushi related diarrhea on a Learjet 31 with 7 pax aboard. I think the story went that the pax held up their jackets to give him some privacy - and the pax had to go sit in a pilot seat (for lack of anywhere else to go) while he did his business.

(Shudder) I'd have had to quit, change my name, and move to Canada.

It happens. Thankfully, it is rare. I once handed the controls over to my copilot on final approach (sorry, FAA) and went to the back and flipped the leather jepp briefcase upside down, dumped the charts out, and then went in the chart case. Case went into the dumpster when we landed.

nice case, brand new. oh well...

had my copilot in a King air shutdown and run out of the airplane before the props even stopped spinning. Ran past the passengers and everything. Pretty sure he sharted on his way down the steps. worst part was the horrible farts every minute or so on the approach.

I hope you saved one of those useless paper charts to wipe with. As much as that might be painful. haha

Imagine the poor line guy or Wastemanagment guy who thought "oh look! Someone threw away a new leather case!, I want it!"

Six or seven years ago, an audio recording from an F-16D (two seat) was making the rounds.

They were part of a 2 v 2; all F-16s. Guy in the back seat of the Tub is telling the guy up front "I don't know if I'm going to make it..."

Well, he doesn't. I can't repeat the commentary that follows (or the radio exchanges with the Flight Lead; who was the Squadron Commander!) due to TOS on APC, but suffice to say, it's priceless.

You can probably find it on youtube.